


I refuse to let you go

by Feenaa



Series: Can't fix this [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Hurt Harry, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Louis, M/M, Married Couple, True Love, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:29:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23215540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feenaa/pseuds/Feenaa
Summary: Things turned upside down after Harry waking up from his coma.Their love was going to an end. That was their last chance to save the love between them.That was their last chance to not let go.But who will let go, and who will refuse to let go.Part three from I can't fix this
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Series: Can't fix this [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1630237
Comments: 35
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

Louis was walking at long corridors, filled with closed door. It was still the morning since the windows through the corridors showed light of the sun. He was hearing screams during the walk and he was trying his best to avoid looking through the open doors although he heard his name was called once or twice.

He was following a man in front of him, they both were walking silently then the man stopped in front of specific door and looked at Louis with a huge smile

“are will be missed” the man said

Louis chuckled “ you will be ” he answered

The man just shook his head while giggling and opened the door. Louis was the only one who entered and then he headed directly to sit in front of the big desk.

The office was empty, but it seemed that someone was just here as the hot drink on the table was still steaming. Louis took a deep inhale and before he exhaled the door was opened again, and a man in white coat entered looking at him with a huge smile and a file in his hand

“good morning officer Tomlinson “ the man said and then he sat at his place behind the desk, he put the file down and said “ ready for the big day? “

Louis wasn’t answering at all, there was something about that man that Louis didn’t like, he liked other doctors here but not this one

The doctor finally lost the smile “ it has been two months Louis, and today is the day you leave”

Louis rolled his eyes and wanted to say finally  
The doctor continued “ before I let you go, I need to know why you were here from the first place”

Louis looked at the man and wanted to say something rude, what kind of question was that? He knew why he was here, Louis knew why he was here. But when he saw how serious his doctor was Louis started to talk

“ it’s Just Louis Tomlinson, I am no more an officer”

The doctor was staring at him, he nodded slowly  
Then Louis said looking down “ I am here because I used to have hallucinations, I used to see my husband and I used to talk to him”

The doctor eyes were still on him, so he had to continue “ I am no more seeing him, or hearing him. I am better”

“and? “

Louis looked at him and his heart started to beat fast, the doctor sighed “ where is your husband now officer.. I mean Louis? “

Louis didn’t answer at the start, then he shrugged “ I don’t know where he is, I haven’t seen him since… “

The doctor was looking at him again raising a brow, Louis sighed “ I know he is alive okay, i know he comes to see me, and I know I refuse to meet him.. I know he comes weekly.. So I know okay?  
He is alive, Niall is alive.. No one is dead I got it, can I leave now”

The doctor finally removed his eyes, he looked at the file and nodded “ You are leaving. But you will continue on your drugs, and if you felt anything weird you just contact me right away”

Louis nodded difficulty, all he wanted now was to leave.

Then the door was knocked, and the doctor stood up  
“ there is someone here wants to meet you until they pack your stuff”

Louis frowned, but the doctor didn’t give him the time to answer, he walked away and opened the door, then he left and another man entered.

Louis wanted to stand up and runaway, he looked at him and he tried his best to remain as calm as he can  
.  
He hadn’t seen him since the first visit Harry gave him the first week he was here. Harry cried and begged Louis to forgive him. It was a month after Harry coming out of his coma, things between them was very bad, Louis refused to talk to him and the hallucinations were too much, the nightmares were too much, so Harry decided to send him to a rehab.

Harry was looking at Louis and then he sat in front of him

“ Louis..” he started

Louis didn’t look at him, Harry “ your doctor says you are better now”

Nothing

“ he says that you finally can come back home”

And there Louis snapped his head up to face Harry, home? Was he going home with Harry?

Harry with glossy eyes tried to smile “ hi”

Louis looked down again and closed his eyes he focused on breathing slower Harry swallowed thickly “ everything will be okay now”

Louis again looked at him, he wanted to tell nothing will be okay now, but he just had to nod his head. He just had to leave.

Louis stood up suddenly and Harry looked at him confused

“ let’s get out of here” Louis said heading outside and Harry then followed after wiping his tears

. ****

When Louis entered the house, he couldn’t recognize it. Last time he saw when he broke down he remembered he broke the TV and he broke the coffee table, he also destroyed his office as he tore all of the papers and the photos there, he broke the lamp in his bed room and he completely destroyed the kitchen. 

He didn’t realise what he was doing, he wasn’t himself but it was the night Harry decided that he needed help.

Louis was walking inside the house like a stranger, looking at everything with lost eyes, touching it with trembling fingers.

“ I made you some food” Harry said while patting a dog back

Louis looked between Harry and the dog with a confused eyes

Harry smiled “ Zayn brought it to me last month.. We still trying to know each. I mean he is not Alby but he is a fast learner” Alby was Harry’s previous seizure alert dog, he died when Harry was twenty two and ever since Harry didn’t bring any new one. He felt so sad and so depressed after his death that he decided no more dogs

Harry then stood up and walked to the kitchen “ I washed all your clothes, you go and fix something comfortable while I heat the dinner”

Louis watched Harry getting inside the kitchen and then he started to walk to his bedroom.

Everything was messy in his head, his mind was racing the bad thoughts again. Again he was seeing Harry lying motionless on the floor at Stan’s basement, again he was seeing Harry breathless. Again he was living his worst nightmare.

He sat on the bed that he and Harry once shared, and he rested his head between his hands and he took a deep breath

“get it together “ he whispered to himself, cause down stairs was harry making them dinner, down there was harry waiting for him to eat together. Harry wasn’t dead and that was the only fact Louis needed to believe.

When went down to the kitchen, he heard Harry was talking on the phone

“ yes, we are home now.. “ he heard Harry saying, then “ I don’t know, I hope he is.. He still not talking to me”

Louis closed his eyes and leaned at the wall beside the kitchen, Harry was talking about him and his sound was broken and sad and that hurt Louis, but Louis really couldn’t do any better, he was trying he was struggling with his mind, with his heart. All the last year Harry was dead to him, and now  
Harry is two steps away and Louis couldn’t push the image of dead harry away from him mind

“ I know Nate.. I am trying. Thank you so much for being there for me really, without you I would be lost”

And what the hell? Who the hell was Nate? And how exactly he was there for Harry? And why the hell Louis was jealous again.

Louis opened his eyes wide, he took a deep breath and he showed himself to Harry.

Harry looked at him with big eyes and then he said through the phone “ I will call you later, okay?  
Bye”

He started to prepare the table and he looked really nervous like trying to hide something from Louis. 

Although Harry was like dead to Louis for long time but he still remembers every body gesture, every face expression, every troubled breath

Louis watched Harry but he didn’t speak, he just watched till Harry set everything on the table and sat right in front of him.

It was when Louis started to examine his face, Harry got older that was something Louis first noticed. 

Every features looked exhausted and pale. Although his hair was longer than the last time Louis saw him, but it was also looked tired like not being taken care of. But what really hurt Louis the most was Harry’s eyes. They were pale than ever, and they were sadder, his eyes were like dead.

“ our families were thinking of throwing you a party… like welcome party” harry said while taking his fork.

Louis looked at the plat in front of him, Harry made him his favorite dish, but Louis had no appetite for anything right now.

“ it just our families, and friends. Liam and Zayn.. I don’t know about it I told them I would see with you first? “

Harry said looking at him, Louis finally took the fork and he started to eat

“ so? What do you think? “

Louis looked at him, Harry sighed “ about the party? “

Louis just shrugged “ whatever you want”

Harry put his fork down “ it’s about you not me. Do you wanna see them? Are you ready for this? “

Louis was watching Harry, he then shrugged “ I don’t know”

Harry nodded and didn’t talk again, then Louis heard some long peeps

Harry looked at the watch on his hand that Louis never saw before and his heart dropped, was it a seizure?

But Harry stood up normally and he headed to the drawer, Louis also stood up he was waiting for anything, but Harry looked okay.

Then Harry put out a drug bottle and he took one pill, then he swallowed it without water. When he turned to Louis he furrowed his brows

Louis was looking at him worriedly, and Harry said “ it’s okay”

“ you are not having one? “. Harry shook his head and he returned to the table, he sat and pointed to Louis to sit too.

When Louis sat, Harry started “ it’s a new watch, has different peeps, it reminds me with my meds if I forgot, it alerts me if I have a coming seizure. My friend got it to me and it is really helpful”

His friend? Nate?

Louis only nodded, and he looked back at his plate  
“ I haven’t got any since the coma”

Louis looked at Harry, Harry shrugged and shook his head “ no I am not cured, the doctors tell me it’s still there but..i just have to wait and expect them to come anytime. I have to be ready” then he looked at Louis “ three free seizures month… I could get used to it” he smiled, but Louis didn’t.

Harry dropped his smile and he looked at his plate again “ Lottie and Gemma want to come and see you tonight, is that okay? “

Louis looked at him, he couldn’t see anyone, he didn’t want anyone to see him, he just wanted to sleep “ I would rather not”

Harry looked at him with a frown, Louis shrugged “ I mean you were talking about a party, right? I can see them all at the party”

Harry slowly nodded, obviously he had a lot to say but he remained sadly silent.

Louis left the fork, and he stood up

“ you haven’t even touched your plate? “ Harry said with wide eyes

Louis shook his head “ I wasn’t hungry, maybe later”

He was walking out of the kitchen  
“ where are you going? “

Louis said without looking at Harry, he couldn’t stand how nervous and worried Harry was “ I need some sleep”

Then he left, but he heard Harry taking a long breath.  
****  
It was two days later when Harry threw Louis that party he talked to him about.

For the last two days Louis didn’t speak with Harry, he didn’t ignore him either, but he just didn’t talk to him.  
He also could not sleep, every time he closed his eyes he had the same nightmare again. So he was trying not to sleep till Harry is completely sleeping, he didn’t want to scare him, and he was scared that if Harry saw him this way he might send him back to the rehab.

The bill kept ringing, he knew all the family and friends must had arrived now, they all were waiting for him downstairs with Harry, it was going to be a hard and big day but he didn’t want to upset Harry much more, Harry spent the last two days preparing for the party and he saw how his eyes were beginning to glow again.

When he went downstairs, he was first met with Fizzy, she jumped and hugged him so tight she kissed his cheeks then she yelled

“ guys Louis is here”

And then he started to see all of them were gathering around him.

Gemma, Lottie, the twins. Then he saw Anne was wiped her tears and hugged him softly and kissed his forehead and she whispered “ I am proud of you”

Then he saw Zayn and Gigi were standing together looking at him fondly

He rushed and hugged them both, if there was anyone who helped Louis during the last year then it would be Zayn and he wife Gigi.

Then he saw from the corner of his eyes Liam. He was standing by Niall at the corner, looking at him shyly.  
Then Louis smiled and he walked to them  
He first looked at Niall on his wheelchair, Niall smiled to him “ long time no see Tommo”

Louis just smiled and squeezed his shoulder “how are you doing? “

Niall still smiling “ better than ever”

Then Louis looked at Liam “ you are the only one who didn’t visit me at the rehab? “

Liam looked at him with huge eyes, then he said “I came.. I did. But I didn’t ask them to tell you. I mean I know you still hate me”

Louis nodded “ yeah? But just for the record. I never hated you”

Liam looked down and didn’t talk, Louis took a deep breath “ I wasn't thinking right Liam, you know that’s why I was admitted to the rehab. So anything happened during that last year, wasn’t the real me, was the sick me but not me”

Liam smiled and narrowed his eyes “ what are you talking about? “

Louis chuckled while Niall who was watching the two of them burst into laughter

Then Louis hugged Liam really tight.

When they pulled apart, Louis looked around him, okay everyone was there, but where was Harry?

Louis walked to Gemma “ have you seen Harry? “

She said while drinking “ in the kitchen “

Louis nodded and he headed to the kitchen, but when he entered he froze.

Right there was Harry hugging someone, Harry was giving the door his back so he couldn’t see Louis getting in.

Louis’ blood boiled, who the hell was this man?

“ who the hell is that? “ Louis found himself saying.

Harry flinched and pulled away, he looked at Louis with wide eyes, then he said “ Lou.. What is wrong? “

“I don’t know Harry, you tell me. Who is this? “ he said glaring at the man who was looking now at him frowning.

“ this is my friend, Nate”

So this is Nate

Louis looked at Nate “ so this is Nate, your new boyfriend, the one who helped a lot through your misery with me” Louis was screaming

Harry looked at him with wide eyes, his veins popped through his nick “ what are you talking about? Boyfriend? What the hell Loui? “

Louis looked at Harry now “ oh, cut the crap. You said it yourself. You spent the last three months with him, he gives you help, he gives you presents” he pointed at his new watch

Harry rubbed his temples, he closed him eyes“ oh God… what is the wrong with you”

“ I know everything okay, so stop it okay” he was still telling, then he narrowed his eyes “ but I don’t know why, if you already found someone else then why bother staying with me, I gave you nothing, all I did was hurting you”

“ shut the fuck up” harry finally yelled “what are you talking about? Why are being like this? “ 

“ like what? “

“ you’ve been running away from me”

“you sent me to rehab” Louis accused yelling

“you were losing your mind” harry yelled back, then he lowered his tune “ you were refusing to believe that I am alive. You were panicking, you had a nervous breakdown what do you expect me to do about it”

Louis didn’t say a word, he looked at Harry who was looking behind Louis. Then Louis heard murmurs and he knew the party gathered around them  
Harry just shook his head and he walked out of the kitchen passing everyone around.

Louis sighed and then he also saw Nate leaving the kitchen, and all the people who gathered on front of the kitchen left.

All except Zayn who entered the kitchen.

Louis saw him walking in, so he leaned on the counter , zayn stopped in front of Louis “ what was that about? “  
Louis snapped “ he was hugging him, who the hell is he? “

Zayn crossed his arms and leaned beside him “ he is his physiotherapist”

Louis looked at him, Zayn nodded “ you remember how week he was after the coma?” Louis nodded

Zayn continued “ the doctor advised him with physiotherapy and Nate was the one. They spent hours together daily and j guess they became good friends. Only friends”

Louis looked down and didn’t say any word

Zayn sighed “ Harry wasn’t okay Louis, when you were admitted to the rehab, he was battling his own mental war. He was in coma for year, he missed a lot and when he wake up he was alone. You weren’t there and it was you who he needed”

Louis took a deep breath, then he said “ I need a walk”

Zayn looked at him “people are here for you”

Louis shook his head “ I can’t.. I am sorry “

Then he left the whole house, he left Harry and he left all of his friends and family there.

He drove his car and when he stopped it he was at the cemeteries.

He left his car and he walked through the stones, he was only heading to a specific one, the only one who he needed the most was six feet under.

Then he stopped in front of his mom stone, and he then sat and he cried. He didn’t talk he just cried. 


	2. Chapter 2

It was at the early morning when Louis felt someone was shaking him, he opened his eyes and he looked around him and for a minute he didn’t know where he was.

He saw Harry looking at him, his lips were moving but Louis only heard buzz. He looked again around him and he was on the ground, there was grass, there were flowers, and then there was his mother stone.

Now he realized where he was, he was still at the cemetery.

Harry helped him to stand up and when Louis looked at his face he saw tears were on his cheeks.  
His heart twisted again, he didn’t love to see Harry crying.

Harry helped him while walking and he opened the car and put him in the passenger seat. Harry thought Louis didn’t see him when he wiped his tears, and when he leaned on the car for a second to catch his breath. Louis also saw him checking his watch and then he saw Harry’s face was like panicked but he didn’t understand what was that about.

Harry sat beside him on the driving seat, he started his car and he drove away, Louis looked at his face and Harry was only looking at the road in front of him and he avoided looking at him.

When Harry parked the car in front of their house, Louis this time walked alone. He felt Harry was following and to be honest the silence was killing him, he wanted to talk to Harry to apologize for what he did last night, but Harry obviously didn’t want to talk at all.

Once they were home, Harry entered the kitchen Louis followed him and he saw Harry was heating some soap. Louis realized he was shaking from cold harry just noticed because he put the plate on the table and looked at Louis

“you need to eat something “ Harry said while bringing a glass of water, and his pills containers, and put them beside the plate

“ eat before it gets cold”

Louis found himself obeying Harry, Harry was struggling, he was avoiding looking at him and he was nervous and also shaking as leaf

“ won’t you eat with me” Louis asked while holding the spoon

Harry was getting outside the kitchen “ don’t forget your pills” And he rushed outside the kitchen.

Louis finished his plate only for the sake of Harry. He put the plate in the sink and he took his medications Harry put him beside the water.

He headed to his bedroom and Harry wasn’t there, he looked in the bathroom and also wasn’t there, then he heard his voice coming from the living room.

Louis changed his clothes and he dressed a warm pajama, he lied on his bed and waited for Harry to come back.

Harry didn’t come back.  
*****  
When Louis opened his eyes next thing he was still alone on his bedroom bed. He left the bed and he heard voices coming from outside.

When he opened the door, he recognized the voices Zayn and Niall.

He walked outside to them and he heard Niall laughing with all his power. Louis actually smiled.

That was Niall for sure. Always laughing always happy even after what happened to him.

When he entered the living room Zayn and Niall looked at him and stopped talking, stopped laughing, maybe stopped breathing

Louis looked between them and then he said “ you are too loud”

Niall only smiled nervously while Zayn stood up and walked to him “ are you okay? “

Louis shrugged “I think I am” then he sighed while sitting on the couch “ I am sorry about last night “

Zayn nodded “ although it’s not us who you need to apologize for”

Louis nodded and looked around again “ where is he? “

Niall looked at Zayn and his face turned into white, and then he looked down

“ what? “ Louis asked with concern, then the house door was opened and Harry’s dog ran inside, Louis looked at the new dog that he named it New Alby, and them looked at Harry who was now taking off his jacket.

He looked at them in the living room and then he smiled “ thanks guys” but again he avoided  
looking at Louis. 

Niall smiled “ anytime curly, how did it go? “

Louis was watching Harry, and he could see how he was trying not to look at his side “ good.. Are you gonna stay for dinner with us? “ he said while heading to upstairs to his room Niall “ I can’t.. “

Then he moved with his wheelchair towards Harry and together they disappeared inside

Zayn also took his keys and jacket, Louis asked him “ where did he go? “

Zayn shrugged “ I think you need to talk to him”

“ he avoids me.. He doesn’t even look at my face”

“ well you disappeared last night, he was losing his shit and called for a searching party for you, he even drove by himself, He is angry Louis”

“ why? “ Louis asked but he knew the answer

“ just talk to him”

Louis took a deep breath and nodded, Zayn “ good, we need to talk too later”

And he walked towards the door where Niall and Harry were standing, Zayn then pushed Niall and left and then Harry closed the door.

He walked towards the kitchen and he passed Louis without talking.

Louis followed him and Harry was in front of the opened fridge. 

“ are you okay? “ Louis asked

Harry didn’t look at him, he only nodded “ I am okay”

Louis was still watching him “ you don’t seem okay “

Harry ignored him and he started to cut the vegetables, Louis sighed “ Harry stop ignoring me"

Harry stopped what he was doing and he looked at Louis “ I told you I am okay”

Louis huffed “ you are not okay, your face is drained from blood, your hands are shaking so you are not okay”

Harry put the knife down and he didn’t look at Louis “ can we talk later? “

“no, we will talk now. Stop Ignoring me”

Harry looked at him “ you’ve been ignoring me since you came back, now you want to talk? "

Louis again became angry “ you sent me to rehab”

“oh my God!! You don’t even remember what was happening to you. I had to do this. I needed you I didn’t want to send you away but I had to”

Louis shook his head and didn’t talk

Harry was watching him “ you had a break down… you were dangerous “

Louis snapped his head up and looked at him with big eyes “ what does it mean? “

Harry took a deep breath and rubbed his face, his watch started to peep and Harry said “ can we talk later please “

And he walked to take his drugs. Louis was watching him, his hands were still shaking and he looked so sad

“ I am sorry about last night “ Louis said 

Harry closed his eyes and shook his head “ Louis.. “

“ we are not talking, I am just saying sorry. I was angry and I guess I wasn’t ready for this family reunion. I haven’t seen them all together since.. Your accident. I was nervous and then I saw him hugging you and-- “

“you thought I was cheating “ Harry said cutting him  
Louis nodded “I am sorry. I told you I was nervous and.. I wasn’t thinking”

“ we are just friends “

“I know” louis added nodding. 

Harry looked down and then said “ I thought you hurt yourself. I was trying to reach you and you didn’t-“ he looked at Louis “ you didn’t answer me. I thought I lost you and I can’t… Louis I just I can’t live through this again”

Louis had no idea what Harry was talking about

Harry wiped his tears “ this is gonna need some time. Us healing will need time and we need to stick together , I need to rely on you and you need to rely on me if we need us to manage “

Louis slowly nodded “ are you okay? “

Harry shook his head “ it’s back..my fucking epilipsy is back ” he chuckled and wiped his tears again “ it’s never gone but I liked to pretend it did”

Louis felt his heart dropped, he asked “ when? “

Harry shook his head “ it doesn’t matter. It’s just back”

Louis nodded “ did you check with your doctor? “

Harry nodded “ and it’s not stable and he has no idea what to do. We will just have to wait and see”

“ I am so sorry”

Harry nodded “ I need you. Everything is crashing around me. I was in a coma for a whole year,  
Niall is on a wheelchair and Stan is out there, you lost your mind and it’s all my fault”

Louis frowned “ no, it’s not”

Harry leaned on the counter “ you always warned me right “

“I didn’t know. I was just jealous “

Harry shook his head “ it doesn’t matter anyway “

Louis was watching Harry, and then he walked closer “ you will be fine. We will be fine”

Harry looked at him “ promise? “

Louis nodded immediately “ yes… I do I promise”

Then he slowly reached his hand and touched Harry’s lips, Harry closed his eyes and cried. He missed that touch so much, he missed Louis and he missed feeling safe with him. 

Louis slowly moved closer and then their lips met, Harry was crying and Louis also was crying. They kissed and Louis hoped that this kiss would made all the pain go away. He wasn’t okay, Harry wasn’t okay. But he pretended for a second that this kiss will mend everything once again.. He wished Harry would be okay again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are doing good

Louis opened his eyes and he was alone on the bed, Harry wasn’t there and he didn’t hear any sounds coming from outside. So Harry wasn’t home.  
He reached his hand to check his cell phone and then he frowned, it was only seven in the morning.  
Where the hell was Harry.

He left his bed and he walked outside the room, then he looked for him in the kitchen and in the living but there was no sign for Harry or for his new dog Alby So he waited for him in the kitchen.

An hour later and the house door was opened, Alby entered first and then Harry followed him. When Louis heard his voice coughing he walked out of the kitchen

“ you are up early? “ Harry asked him when he saw him

“where have you been? I was worried” Louis said

Harry was taking off his coat “ you could have called me, I put my number on your phone”

Louis nodded, he forgot about that “ right”

Then Harry walked to the kitchen and he put some food for his dog

“ where were you? “ Louis asked again

Harry said carefully “ with Nate.. I had a session”

Then he looked at Louis who was looking at him back “ at seven in the morning “

Harry nodded “ at six”

“ but why? I mean it’s really early”

Harry nodded “ I am starting my work today and I need my session. I can’t go after work because I need to stay with you, so this was the only good time”

Louis did hear right, he was coming back to his work  
“ you are coming back? “ he asked but he couldn’t hide his shock

Harry looked at him “ I can’t stay home forever”

“ did you lose your mind? “

Harry closed his eyes, Louis said “ your seizures returned, you don’t know how it will work this time, and what about Stan he is fucking out there”

Harry rubbed his temples “ can you please not scream. You hurt my head”

Louis didn’t realize he was shouting, but Harry completely ignored him and started to prepare breakfast

That drove Louis crazy “ you are not going back”

Harry shook his head “ I am, I can’t wait any longer, it has been over a year, I am lucky they are having me back”

Louis again yelled “ lucky? What is the matter with you”

And then Louis flet something was pushing his legs from behind, he looked down and it was the dog. It was trying to push him out of the kitchen

“Harry. Make him stop”

But Harry ignored him, Louis looked at the dog “ Alby… stop.. Stop”

Then harry said “ Reek… leave him, go outside” And the dog stopped and moved outside.

Louis looked at Harry, Harry was watching him confused “ Alby? “

Louis shrugged “ I thought you will call him Alby”

Harry only shook his head and moved to the stove.  
Louis followed him and sighed “ Harry.. “

“if you yell again, he will attack you so keep it down”

Harry said looking at the pan  
“ I won’t.. I am sorry “

Harry sighed “ I talked to my doctor, he actually recommended it. He says staying at home stress me more. I need to keep my mind busy and maybe breath some fresh air” he looked at him “ I work with kids, I teach them music.. I will be fine. Reek will wait for me out side classes… I will be okay” Louis shook his head “ I can’t let you go alone.. Harry it’s not safe”

Harry frowned “ not safe? “

Louis argued “ Stan is free out there, did you forgot whet he did? “

Harry remained silent then he put the eggs on the plates and headed to sit

“ Stan is not in the town”

Louis walked and stood on front of him “ and how do you know? “

“Zayn told me”

“Zayn? “

Harry sighed “ yes, Zayn… he is working on the case or something.. I don’t actually care but he told me that Stan was out of town so I am safe”

That was bullshit. Zayn would never say that, and If he did he would never meant it.

“ You can drive me to school, I am not allowed to drive again” he said it angrily.

Louis took a deep breath, okay he can do that, he would drive him to school, he saw how angry he was and he wanted to make things right again , right?

and then maybe he see Zayn and ask him about Stan.  
“can you now please have breakfast with me? “ Finally Louis nodded and sat in front of him.

******

When Louis entered the station he had mixed feeling, he missed it, he missed working here, he missed every moment he had with success. But again he remembered how awful it was after finding Harry, how horrible he felt when he made sure he won’t be able to catch Stan. The failure that cost him his husband’s life.

He entered the office. His office and he saw Zayn was leaning on his desk extremely focusing on something he was reading and there was no sign for Liam.

“ tough case? “ Louis asked, and Zayn snapped his head faster than he ever did

“ what are you doing here? “ Zayn asked

Louis looked at him with a frown “ am I that not welcomed? “

Zayn smiled “ no, actually you are not. Last time you were here you destroyed that office “

“ did I? “ he asked with a smile, although he   
remembered this perfectly but he like to pretend it did not happen.

Zayn didn’t answer, Louis took a deep breath “ I am just here to ask you something “

Zayn rested his back at the chair and looked at him, Louis “ Harry returned to his work today “

Zayn nodded “ I think it is a good news. He needs this”

Louis bit his lower lip “ maybe.. But is it safe? “

“safe? “

Louis huffed “ Zayn, Stan is out there, and he is alive.. You heard the video with me, he threatened me to come back”

Zayn took a deep breath and looked at his desk “ he is safe”, then he looked at Louis “ Harry is safe” Louis “ okay, what do you hide? “

“nothing “

“Zayn? “ he said impatiently

Zayn answered again “ nothing, we don’t know where he is that’s right. But we are still working on the case. We are looking for him everwhere”

“you told him he is not in the country “

Zayn nodded “ he was seen leaving here, yeah. With a different passport but the cameras showed him   
leaving. But the minute he reached Italy he disappeared. We have been trying ever since but we don’t know. He is always steps ahead”

“ Fuck… you have no idea where he is”

Zayn didn’t answer

Louis yelled “ and you think Harry is safe? “

Zayn looked at him “ yes, and you need to believe this too. You need to live your life, he needs to live his life. He was in a coma for a year Louis, how many years you want him to lose”

“oh my God… “ Louis yelled again “ are you trying to prove to yourself that this is okay, that him moving alone in the street where Stan; the one who almost killed him is out there. He wanted to kill him, he wants him dead Zayn… and he doesn’t care if he stayed a fucking year in a coma.. The minute he sees him walking he will attack again, and he will be happy doing this and watching us moving in circles to find him"

“ he is not” Zayn said

“you don’t know that, oh my God… I can’t believe you knew he was outside moving freely and yet you let Harry come back to his work”

“I let him to come back to his life” Zayn yelled back

then he took a deep angry breath, and he looked at Louis “ you had no idea what he was like when you were in the hospital, you don’t know how much he suffered.. I mean he needed you more than anything but you weren’t there”

“he sent me there“ Louis snapped

“ because you were fucking breaking down.. Damn it Louis… you almost killed him. You thought he wasn’t him and you almost shot him”

And Louis froze

Zayn looked at him then with wide eyes “ shit.. Shit. I thought you remember”

“ I did what? “ Louis asked

Zayn shook his head “ I shouldn’t say this. I shouldn’t. That was dump”

“ what did I do? “ louis asked again

Zayn again shook his head, Louis closed his eyes “ Zayn, please I need to know”

“ you were having a nightmare, Harry said that ever since you both returned home and you were having them all the time. Sometimes you were waking up screaming and he was trying to calm you down, but every time you never recognized him”

Then he looked at Louis, Louis was trying to remember anything, but nothing

“ one night, you were sleeping beside him but he wasn’t asleep, you had a nightmare and you wake up screaming, he tried to calm you as usual and you didn’t recognize him too but you called him Stan.. And you tried to attack him, he panicked and he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want to leave you but you tried to strangle him and when he escaped your grip you shot him”

Louis gasped loudly that Zayn stopped talking, Zayn continued then “ but you didn’t hit him. He locked you in the bedroom and you kept screaming and yelling.. He called me and Liam and we came but you slept or fainted we don’t know. It was my idea to sent you there and I begged him for days. It was getting scarier and he couldn’t sleep anymore.. And then one day you wake up crying and no matter what he did or we did you didn’t stop. Then he sent you”

Louis rubbed his face “ of my God… “

Zayn shrugged “ he knew you were in dark place. He knew why you did it”

“I shot him”

“you didn’t hit him”

Louis was crying now, then he wiped his tears and he left.

******  
Louis was in his house when Harry entered after his work. He looked very exhausted and he walked to the kitchen to put some food for his dog. He didn’t notice Louis who was sitting at the living room alone smoking.

But when he was putting the dogs food outside the kitchen he saw the smoke of the cigarette.

Harry walked to him and he was frowning “ you are smoking again? “

Louis looked at him and he didn’t care to wipe his tears, Harry looked at him shocked “ what happened? “

And he rushed and sat beside him, Louis turned off his cigarette and shook his head, he wiped his tears “ I am fine, nothing “

Harry was watching him “ are you sure? “

Louis looked at him and he tried to smile “ I am, I am sorry”

Harry chewed his inner cheek “ did you remember what happened again? “

Louis shook his head and he looked down, Harry smiled “ good. I don’t want you to think about it. I don’t remember anything about it”

Louis looked at him “ really? “

Harry nodded “ yeah, nothing.. And I didn’t try to. All I remember is me and Niall getting in his house and that’s it”

Louis nodded still watching Harry, Harry shrugged “ I think it’s better this way. The doctor say it might come back, but the longer I forgot is the better”

Louis nodded “ yeah… that’s better”

“ so, why were you crying? “

Louis sighed “ I was with Zayn earlier, and he told me about… about me trying to shoot you”

Harry gasped and looked away cursing under his breath “ I took an oath from them not to mention this to you, I thought he can keep his promises”

Louis was looking at him “ you should have told me”

Harry shook his head “ no”

“ I kept blaming you for sending me there while you were just trying to help”

“ that wasn’t you.. You were sick Louis, I know you never meant to hurt me”

“I tried to strangle you.. I shot you”

Harry was crying now and he shook his head strongly “ wasn’t you”

Louis didn’t talk, then Harry wiped his tears “ I will make something to eat” he stood up but Louis took his hand “let’s eat outside”

Harry was shocked “ what? Seriously? “

Louis laughed, the look on Harry’s face was very cute that Louis couldn’t stop himself “ yeah, let’s do it,  
Harry took a deep breath “ oh yes, please… I won’t even change my clothes.. Just give me time to use the loo and then we can go”

Louis nodded “ yeah…sure”

Then Harry hurried inside while Louis was watching with a huge smile on his face.

*****  
They were in a beautiful restaurant Harry picked himself, Louis watched him while he ordered his favorite plate and suddenly he remembered the first date they had, he remembered how anxious he was, he remembered when he broke that glass of water and when he rushed to use the bathroom.

Harry looked at him smiling “ I picked you your favorite dish”

Louis was still smiling “ I know”

Harry smiled too “ God… I feel weird”

“ why? “

Harry shrugged “ it’s feel like our first date”

Louis laughed “ I was just thinking the same”

Harry rubbed his face “ god that was embarrassing, every time I remember that date I feel embarrassed again”

“ no… that was my fault.. I made you nervous and I was believing you were hiding something “

Harry nodded “ I was though…” then he laughed “ I remember Niall was watching me… he thought you had no idea while you knew from the start”

Louis laughed too “ he was always a Good friend “

Harry’s smile faded slowly while he was nodding  
Louis knew what he was thinking, he took Harry’s hand “ that was not your fault “

Harry looked at him and didn’t talk, Louis continued “ Stan was so smart. He knew what he was doing. And he would find a way or another to hurt you”

Harry nodded “ exactly, hurt me. Niall wasn’t in the picture “

“ stop Harry please, we are here not to talk about him okay? “ Harry nodded and smiled.

Louis rubbed his hands together “ I was thinking that both of us needs some vacation “

Harry looked at him narrowing his brows but also smiling “ what do you mean? “

“ a trip”

“trip? “

Louis nodded “ yes.. To France? “ very far away from here

Harry laughed “ okay… that’s sound interesting “

Louis nodded “ yeah… and we will have fun. You always wanted to go to France, right? “

“ always.. “ Harry said showing his dimples

“ good… so when can you have some days off? “

Harry thinking “ next month “

“ Harry.. “

“ come on.. We can wait”

Louis sighed “ okay, tell me the exact dates so I can fix the reservations”

Harry nodded with a huge smile “ wow, I really can’t wait”

Then the food came, and the waiter put the plates in front of them.

Harry looked at his food and he looked at Louis who was still watching him, he just smiled and they started to eat.  
*****  
It has been three weeks since Harry returned back to his work. Things between Louis and Harry were getting better, and Louis finally started to make Harry smiling again.

Louis returned home that day, he heard laughter coming from the kitchen. He frowned because  
Harry didn’t tell him they were having any guests, and when he entered the kitchen his blood boiled It was Nate

“ Lou, where were you? “ Harry asked once he saw him, while Nate looked down to avoid any interaction with Louis

“ out” Louis tried to answer casually, he looked at Nate “ how are you? “

Nate smiled “ I am good, and you? “

“ yeah, been better” then he looked at Harry “ I didn’t know you were having a session today”

Harry shook his head “ I am not, Nate was returning my headphones I forgot them the other day”

Louis looked at Nate and tried to smile “ oh how sweat, thank you” but he heard Harry sighing

“ go change your clothes, dinner will be ready in five minutes “

Louis was still looking at Nate “ are you staying with us? “

Harry answered hastily “ yes, I invited him… now go”

Louis looked at Harry “ really? You did”

Harry closed his eyes “ Louis. Please “

Louis huffed and left the whole kitchen.

He headed to his bedroom, he didn’t like Nate okay , that was obvious, but the guy didn’t do anything wrong, he was only Harry’s friend, he should treat him better. 

After all Harry suffered because of him and Nate was there to take care of him, actually Louis should be grateful.

When Louis entered the kitchen again, he saw Harry sitting alone on the table looking at the two plates in front of him

“ where did he go? “ Louis asked

Harry answered without looking at him “ left”

Louis mentally slapped himself “ why? “

Harry looked at him with raised brows  
Louis sighed “ I am sorry, was it obvious “

“ you mean you hating him an making him feeling very unwelcomed and uncomfortable… no”

Louis sat on the chair in front of Harry “ no, I meant being jealous "

Harry snorted “ doesn’t matter”

Louis took his hand “ it does, okay… he is your friend I shouldn’t have treat him this way”

“ yeah, you shouldn’t.. “

Louis nodded “ how can I apologize? “

“ you can’t.. “

“harry”

Harry shrugged “ you can’t… he is leaving to Denmark tomorrow, he was saying goodbye”

Louis frowned “ is he? What about your session? “

Harry sighed “ he recommended someone else for me”

Louis saw how upset Harry was “ I am sorry. I know you were friends “

Harry looked at him and nodded “ yeah, he was a good friend. He understands me perfectly "

Okay, stay calm Louis, don’t lose it

He drew his fakest smile and said gritting his teeth “ I understand you perfectly, you don’t need him” Harry just sighed “ let’s eat”

Louis nodded, okay that would be better, change the topic  
“ how was school today?”

Harry said while eating “ you know how it was”

Louis looked at him, Harry shrugged “ I see your car parking there for the last three weeks. Actually they wanted to call the cops. Thought you were watching the kids or something “

Louis was still staring at him, Harry looked at him “ I had to explain to them what were you doing"

Louis finally said “ you are not mad? “

Harry put the fork down, he shook his head “actually, I feel safe this way”

Louis didn’t talk, Harry sighed “ I know Stan is out of town, and I know I am safe… but knowing you are out there watching me… calm my nerves” he smiled

Louis smiled too “ I want to protect you”

Harry nodded and he took his hand this time “ I know.. You always did”

Then harry said “ what if we go out after dinner? I need to buy few things “

Louis nodded smiling “okay, let’s do it”

“ great”

And Louis watched Harry eating again, and he felt pleased. Slowly they were gaining their life back.

Although he still had a mission to protect Harry and find Stan, but he didn’t tell Harry yet about what he was thinking about maybe he will tell him later.  
*****  
They were at the supermarket, Harry was picking what he needed while Louis was pushing the cart, then his phone went off and it was Zayn

“yes Zayn”

“where are you” Zayn said seriously

Louis frowned “I am out with Harry… what is it? “

“can you come to the station, it’s important “

Louis looked at harry who was looking back at him “ now? “

“ yes Louis, right now”

“okay, I am on my way”  
******  
At the station, at his old office  
Liam was looking through the glass window “ you brought him with you?”

Louis shrugged “ Zayn said it important… I had t bring him. Now what is it? And where the hell is Zayn? “

Liam still looking through the glass window “there he is”

Then the door was opened and Zayn entered looking at Louis shocked “ you brought Harry”

Louis huffed “ I did, now.. What is it”

Zayn sighed and headed to his computer that was on his desk “ I need to show you something “

Then Louis moved and stood in front of the computer.  
It showed a man from behind he was walking in a dark street, he got into his car and then it exploded.

Louis frowned “ what is it? Who is this? “

Zayn sighed “ it’s from italy”

Louis looked at him with big eyes, and then he said “ play it on again”

But this time he bend forward to look closer, Zayn said “ they believe it’s him”

Liam said “ they were watching him since last week. He showed up and then this happened… they say he got involved with Italian mafia that was protecting him over the last year.. Then something must happened and they decided to get rid of him “

Louis stood up right “ that’s not him”

Bit Liam and Zayn “ what? “

Louis still looking again at the footage, he stopped the video at some point where the man who was supposed to be Stan walking from behind “ he has the same height, but that’s definitely not him” he looked at Zayn “ is there any other angel? “

Zayn shook his head “ no, but the police there knew that it was him”

Louis was looking again at the computer “ no, Stan has a limp, this guy not… and Stan’s back is much wider than this one” Liam sighed “ Louis… “

“not him” Louis said again

Then suddenly the door was opened and Harry looked d between the three men “ everything is okay? “

It was Zayn who nodded “ yeah, don’t worry”

Harry entered and closed the door behind him “ I was with your boss, he says he wants Louis back?

“ then he looked at Louis “ were you planning on this without telling me? 

Louis felt Liam and Zayn were also looking at him  
He sighed “ I talked to the boss. He said he need to have my doctor consent”

Harry shook his head and looked down, Louis “ I can’t stay at home too Harry, I need work”

“ this work? You need this work? You promised me Louis”

Louis snapped “ that was before “

Harry looked at him “ before what? What happened to me? To us? Well guess what, it happened because of this job”

“ and the case is still opened”

Then silence

The all three men were looking at him and he knew he had to say something

He sighed “ I know what will you say… that’s I can’t take it personal, but I can’t.. It is personal. And  
I must find him, and I must make him pay”

Zayn yelled “ he is fucking dead… you just saw the video”

Louis yelled “It’s not him”

Harry asked “ he is dead? “

Liam looked at Harry “ yeah.. In Italy.. They sent us a video of him.. Getting into a car and it exploded”

Harry was terribly shocked “ can I see it? “

Louis said almost immediately “ no”

Harry looked at Louis “ I have to see it my eyes. I need to see it so I can believe “

Louis shook his head “ that’s not him"

“ Louis… please “

“ I said no”

But Zayn played the video anyway, and Harry’s eyes focused on it, he walked slowly closer and then he saw him getting into the car and bang..

Harry gasped and Zayn stopped the video. Harry was looking down while Louis was glaring at Zayn

Liam was the one who asked “ are you okay Harry? “ 

Then Harry looked at Liam, then at Louis.  
His watch peeped, and Louis became alerted he whispered “ no”

But it was too late anyway, Harry collapsed on the ground hitting his head and he started to convulse violently.

Louis knelt beside him and he moved any I moved near him, he looked at his hand and he forgot his watch but he heard Zayn saying

“ thirty seconds… “ he was looking at his watch, while Liam put out his jacket and gave it to Louis, Louis took it and he put it under Harry’s head. He was looking at Harry who didn’t stop shaking and he was hit by memories. He was crying which never happened while Harry was seizing in front of him.

He slowly put his hand on Harry’s chest, not to stop him but only to check his heart and his breathing. Slowly Harry stopped shaking and slowly Louis wiped his drools. Harry didn’t open his eyes yet but Louis started to talk to him

“ it’s okay baby, you are okay. I got you”

Zayn said “ two and half minutes”

Louis nodded while rubbing Harry’s back and then he stirred him on his side and he waited for  
Harry to gain his full awareness.


	4. Chapter 4

Louis was in his house, sitting alone in front of the closed TV, he didn’t sleep a minute last night, he put Harry on bed and he waited by his side till he slept and then he went down and he stayed at his place doing nothing.

He was in the middle of his thoughts when the door bell rung. Louis walked slowly to open the door and it was Zayn

“ I am so sorry” Zayn said once he saw Louis

Louis sighed but he gave him a room to enter and he walked inside.

Zayn followed him “ how is he? “

Louis only shrugged “ has been sleeping since” and he entered the kitchen

“ should you wake him up or something? “

“no, Zayn. I should let him sleep, he needs it” he snapped

Then he took a deep breath

“ I am sorry Louis, I just wanted him to have some peace. If he saw him dying I thought he would feel better”

“well he is not better and that wasn’t Stan” Louis said angrily

“ it’s not your fault anyway, we never know when the seizure could visit him” Louis said

Zayn was still looking down and he didn’t talk  
“ it’s not him” Louis said again

“ you aren’t sure” Zayn started “ the Italian police says it’s him Louis… I am sorry but I have to close the case”

“oh my God” Louis glared at him

“ I have no options in my hands here Louis. I have to do this”

“he is out there, he had threaten me to try it again. He wants to kill him and you are okay with this”

“I am not okay with this. He is dead, you are the only one who believes he is not”

“fine, I will talk with the boss then”

Zayn sighed “ why are you doing this? “ Louis looked at him with big eyes, Zayn “ for the last two year we were doing nothing but looking for him.. And now he is finally found and dead. Why can’t you take this as a closure"

After a long moment of staring at Zayn, Louis finally looked down. He realized that this case had exhausted all of them. They all wished that this case was over, and this end fits perfectly. Louis “ okay.. “

“okay? “ Zayn asked

Louis looked at him “ maybe you are all right, maybe I am paranoid or something, I wasn’t okay lately obviously, and I am always worried about Harry.. Maybe I am over reacting”

Zayn didn’t talk

“ I will stop.. I will try to let it go” Louis added.

Zayn finally sighed “ that’s better”

Louis nodded, he was perfectly lying but that was all he could do.

“ I will start next week” Louis said

Zayn again nodded “I know, boss told me.. But do you think.. You are okay with this? “

Louis shrugged “ I know I will have to gain my life back at some point, I mean.. Being an officer is all I know.. All I am good at it’s not like he will send me directly into the field but it is something “

Zayn nodded “ is Harry okay with this? “

Louis shook his head “ I still don’t know. We haven’t talked about it.. I was about to but I found out that his seizures came back so I didn’t want to stress him more”

Zayn sighed “ I guess you should talk to him before you do this.. Obviously he doesn’t like it”

Louis rubbed his face and said “I know, I know”

Zayn “ okay, I need to go now… just wanted to check on him”

Louis nodded but he didn’t walk Zayn to the door, he just stayed at his place till he heard the door was shut.

****

It was two hours later when Louis decided to check on Harry, he walked to their bedroom and he opened the door. To his surprise Harry was awake, sitting on the bed and he was Gazing in front “ you are awake? “

Harry didn’t flinch, didn’t even move, like he didn’t hear him.

Slowly Louis sat beside him and he looked at him, Harry was still looking forward  
“ are you okay? “ Louis asked

Harry didn’t move, okay was it an absent seizure? He checked for the symptoms but Harry was okay, no chewing motions, no eyelid flutter nothing  
“ Harry? “ he called again

Then he took his hand, it was when Harry looked at his hand between Louis’ hand, then he looked at Louis  
“ hi” Louis smiled and said

Harry didn’t smile, he didn’t blink  
“ when did you wake up? “

Harry finally looked down after a long stare at Louis, like he was trying to recognize him “I don’t remember “

Louis nodded with concern, he didn’t know what was wrong with Harry “ okay, how do you feel now? Do you remember what happened? “

Harry nodded “ I saw the tape.. “

“right. Do you know what happened after? “

Harry looked at him eyes were still lost  
“ you had a seizure Harry”

Harry opened his mouth to say something, then he didn’t

“ but you are okay now”

“ I am sorry” Harry whispered

“no, baby, don’t be sorry… I am glad you are okay”

“ did the boys saw me? “

Louis didn’t know how to answer him, he couldn’t read Harry, and that was a new thing, maybe the long time they spent away made Harry different, maybe Harry was different, maybe Louis who was different, maybe Louis lost his power

“ we were all together, so yeah..” Louis answered still watching Harry

Harry nodded and again he was lost in his thoughts  
“ come on Harry let’s have breakfast “ Louis stood up, but Harry didn’t

Louis walked few steps away giving Harry his space  
“ he is dead” Harry said out of nowhere.

Louis turned his back and looked at him, Harry looked at him “ in the tape, he was in the car that exploded”

Louis didn’t say anything, he was watching Harry who was still looking at nothing exactly  
“ it’s over? “ Harry asked and then he looked at Louis  
Louis walked back at him, and he knelt on the floor in front of him “ you are safe Harry”

Harry was still looking at him, Louis touched his cheek slowly “ I am here, and I won’t let anything hurt you, okay? “

Harry slowly nodded, he rested his head on Louis’ hand and closed his eyes

Louis smiled “ I promise you. Nothing will hurt you”

“I trust you” Harry said

Louis moved between Harry’s leg and his hugged Harry tight, Harry hugged him too and he rubbed his back  
“ I am glad you are okay Louis” he said

Then he looked at louis’ eyes “ I love you Louis. And I needed you badly”

Louis nodded and was trying his best not to cry “ I am here now

“ I am sorry” Harry said “ for sending you away, but I was scared Louis.. You weren’t you. You were in dark place and I don’t know how to help you”

Louis shook his head “ you did the right thing baby”

“I didn’t want to do it, I tried to help you alone, I tried to keep you safe but it was bigger than me”

Louis nodded “ I know, I tried to shot you, didn’t I? “ he chuckled

Harry was still looking at his Eyes “ it wasn’t you”

“I hurt you.. “

“ you thought I was him”

Louis didn’t talk, Harry took a deep breath “ I know how it was hard for you to find me this way.. I know you struggled alone.. I know it was my fault “

“ stop saying it was your fault. You trusted him.. I understand “

“ you warned me”

Louis shook his head “ Harry, I was only jealous. I mean if I knew he was dangerous I wouldn’t let you near him. I wouldn’t let him live with Niall.. I didn’t know anything, I was just jealous”

Harry slowly nodded, Louis said “ I am glad you are fine Harry. And I will keep you safe. I will protect you with all my heart. I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe”

“I want you safe too” Harry added “ please don’t go back”

Louis sighed “ Harry… I can’t stay home”

“please, don’t.. You can try anything else.. Louis please, I can’t keep calm as long as I know you are there.. I am always worried, and I am always nervous and this was always driving me crazy”

“ Harry…"

“please, just think about it.. I am begging you”

Louis had to nod, although he knew he wouldn’t think about it, he knew he will start his work next week but this conversation will be for another time. Right now he wanted to keep Harry as calm as he can. He didn’t want another fit.

*****

It was three days later when Harry wake up at the middle of the night screaming, Louis who was sleeping beside him wake up startled. At the start he didn’t know what was going on, he looked at Harry and he thought he was having a seizure, but when Harry started to yell “ stop.. Stop” and then he said “ Louis.. Stop “ it was when he realized he was having a bad dream.

He tried to shake him “Harry, wake up… Harry”

Harry was squeezing his eyes shut, he was still shaking, and now he started to cry

Louis had never seen him this way before and that was aching his heart

“ baby what is going on? “ Louis said while again trying to shake Harry out of his nightmare “ it’s a bad dream, you are okay”

“Louis.. Please.. Don’t hurt me” harry yelled and Louis froze, he then looked at Harry again who was still crying

“ Louis… “he gasped then he snapped his eyes opened  
Louis was watching him with big eyes, Harry was hyperventilating and he was staring at the ceiling  
Louis slowly moved beside him so Harry won’t startle again

“ I am here.. It was just a nightmare “ Louis said  
Harry slowly looked at him, but he didn’t talk. Instead he covered his eyes and he cried

Louis swallowed thickly “ baby, don’t cry” he wanted to touch him but he didn’t know if Harry would accept that now, Harry was dreaming of him hurting him  
But Harry sat on the bed and then he collapsed on Louis’ lap and he cried. 

Louis rubbed his back slowly and he whispered soft words in his ears

It took Harry an hour to stop crying, to calm his shaking body but his obviously couldn’t sleep again

“ would you like some hot chocolate? “ Louis asked  
Harry slowly nodded, and Louis took his hand and together they went downstairs to the kitchen.

Louis guided Harry to sit on the chair while he moved to make them the hot chocolate, it was funny cause usually it was Harry who was making them everything, but right now Louis was the one who must take care of Harry.

People always thought that Louis was the one who was taking care of the family, he was the one who was doing all the effort for this family to move on, they had this idea cause of Harry’s condition, but they didn’t knew what was happening behind the closed doors, it was Harry, it as always harry who took care of both of them, it was always Harry who made this family keep going, who was doing all the effort he could to remain as the family they were, his condition was a secondary thing in this relation, it was the love that Harry gave Louis that kept them together, even with Louise hard work and with Harry condition, even with Louis mood swings and Harry weakness. It was Harry’s love that always kept this family alive.

But now, Louis wasn’t sure that there was love in the family, Louis wasn’t sure that Harry could love again and he wasn’t sure that he could accept Harry’s love again. Although they were sleeping at the same bed but no one tried anything. Harry only hugged him when he was sad and crying, he was hugging him when he wasn’t feeling safe, he never kissed him, and Louis never tried. Even in bed they never cuddled as they used to do. And it was now when Louis knew why, 

Harry was scared, not from Stan he was scared from Louis, and it was so confusing Harry felt safe when he was with Louis, he told him he trusted him, but obviously Harry subconscious had a different say.

Louis gave harry his cup and he sat beside him  
“ what was that? “ he asked

Harry looked at him, he looked better his face wasn’t pale anymore and he was breathing okay now  
Harry shook his head “ I can’t remember “ he lied

But Louis didn’t want to push it “ okay, how about a movie? “

Harry nodded and followed Louis to the living room. Harry sat beside Louis and he rested his head on his shoulder and together they started to watch the movie. Louis thought Harry wasn’t paying attention but when he chuckled when the actor said something funny Louis felt a little relief, at least Harry was not trapped in his mind anymore.

When Louis opened his eyes, he found them still on the couch, Harry still sleeping in his lap now and the TV was on, Reek was lying under Harry’s leg. Then Louis heard the door bell rung.

He tried to move underneath Harry as quiet as he could so not to wake him, and then he walked to the door, it was Liam

“ good morning “ Liam said, Louis let him in

“ I was trying to call both of you”

Louis frowned and then he nodded “ we slept at the couch, our phones are upstairs in the bedroom”

Liam nodded “ why did you sleep on the couch? “

Louis sighed “ Harry had a nightmare, and then we couldn’t sleep again”

“ did he remember anything? “

Louis froze, cause did he? No, Harry was dreaming of Louis hurting him “ I don’t think so”

Then he walked to the kitchen with Liam behind him  
“ what is it? “ Louis asked

Liam sat on the chair and said “ boss wants to see you  
“today? “

“now actually, he said not to come without you”

“ why? “

Liam shrugged “ it’s about you coming back”

“I am not coming back till Monday”

“ what? “ it wasn’t Liam who said it, it was Harry  
He was standing at the kitchen door looking at Louis with wide eyes “ you are coming back? “

Louis closed his eyes, he knew this was coming sooner or later, he couldn’t avoid this forever  
“ you promised me”

“no, I didn’t… I just told you to think about it”

Louis expected Harry to yell at him, to shout and be angry, instead Harry just turned his back and walked away.

Louis looked at Liam who was looking at Louis with a raised brow “ I thought you fixed it”

Louis sighed “ wait for me. I am gonna change”

When Louis entered the bedroom, Harry was sitting on the bed, he didn’t look at him when Louis opened the closet and put out a new outfit.

He didn’t move when Louis went out of the bathroom full dressed up.

But when Louis was about to leave the room, he stopped and he looked at him “ Harry “

Harry didn’t look at him, Louis sighed “ I need to do this.. It is a part of me healing”

Harry looked at him “ you are doing it again”

“ what? “

Harry looked down “ you’re choosing your job again”

“Harry.. Don’t do this now” Louis almost snapped, cause Harry didn’t understand why he was doing this. He needed to find Stan, he needed to protect Harry, and he couldn’t do that while sitting by his side on the couch

“ just go” Harry said

“ Harry.. Can we talk later? “

Harry looked at him and he didn’t say anything, he looked down again and said “ go”

" I am calling Niall or Gemma to come and stay with you"

Harry didn't answer or say anything.

Louis closed his eyes, he knew Harry would be mad, but this was the only way to protect him.


	5. Chapter 5

When Louis returned later that night, he didn’t find Harry home, not like he expected to find him there but he started to panic. Harry called him several times earlier and he didn't answer because as usual he forgot his phone on his desk while he was talking with His boss.

After searching the house he picked his phone and called Niall right away  
“Niall.. Where are you? “

“ good evening to you too, Tommo. I am home”

“ is Harry with you? “ his heart was beating fast

“what do you mean? He is not home? “ Niall asked with an honest concern.

Louis was pacing the room “no, he is not”

“don’t worry, maybe he is buying something “

“no… we had an argument this morning “ Louis said closing his eyes trying to think

“okay… what kind of argument? “

“I don’t know, he.. “ he huffed “ I will tell you later, just call me if you heard anything “

“okay, you too, I am gonna make some calls”

“okay, bye”

Louis put the phone down, his mind was racing because all his could think about was Harry being hurt somewhere.

To his mercy, the door was opened, and when Louis heard footsteps he rushed to the door , then he saw Harry was putting out his jacket giving him his back  
“ Harry, you scared the shit out of me “Louis started 

He saw Harry’s shoulder tensed, and he knew right away there was something wrong

He walked closer “ are you okay?” he looked at Harry’s face and he gasped

On his face there was a big cut on his left brow, and a purple bruise on his left cheek “ what happened to you”? “

Louis asked while cupping Harry’s face and looking at him frantically for something else.

Harry was looking down and he wasn’t responding at all

“Harry? Who did this to you? “

Again nothing , and Louis couldn’t take it anymore, he yelled “ Harry.. Please “

Harry flinched between his hands, then he took Louis’ hand and put them down “ no one did this to  
me”

He was walking away when Louis took his wrist strongly “ look at your face, that didn't happen from nothing ”

“ I seized Louis, no one did anything to me”

And Louis froze, it happened again? In less than two days

He left Harry’s hand and he asked “ what happened? “

Harry shook his head and walked to his room, but Louis followed him to the room, he watched while Harry winced when he sat on the bed to put off his shoes. Louis leaned on the wall

“ how did it happen? “

“ it just happened “ Harry said without looking at him   
He looked very angry at himself, that always happened when Harry seized in front of strangers, he hated it and he was feeling embarrassed and depressed after.

“ at least Reek was there” Louis said, Harry didn’t look at him, he ignored him totally

Louis walked closer and he slowly raised Harry’s chin so he can have a good look at his cut, Harry closed his eyes and sighed

“that doesn’t need a stitch”

Harry took Louis’ hand and put it down, and he left the bed, he moved to the bathroom.

Louis took a moment for himself, Harry was very angry and Louis needed to cheer him up, not no mention that Harry was still mad at him for earlier and he still need to explain to him.

Louis took a deep breath then he followed Harry to the bathroom, but what he saw there made his stomach twist and he felt he wanted to vomit.

Harry was leaning on the sink, eyes closed, he was shirtless and he his back and chest were covered his ugly bruises

“ oh my God” Louis gasped and Harry startled again. 

He turned his back and looked at Louis, then he was heading to dress his clothes

But Louis stopped him looking at his chest “what happened? Did you fell? What.. Did someone attacked you I don’t understand “ then he remembered he didn’t see Reek “ where is Reek? “ Harry sighed and he covered his face “ I don’t know what exactly happened .. I can’t remember “

Louis was still looking at him and he felt blood drained from his face, somehow the idea of Stan hurting Harry again haunted Louis

“ do you need the hospital? “

Harry shook his head “ I need some sleep.. Let’s talk later”

"try to remember what happened? Did someone was there? Someone did this to you?" 

Then he walked out of the bathroom, Louis shook his head and stormed outside

“ fuck.. Harry why are you being so difficult.. I can’t wait till tomorrow I need to know what happened” Louis yelled

Harry looked at him glaring “ as if you care” he yelled back

“ what does it even mean? “ Louis was still nervous 

“ stop yelling at me…” Harry put his hands on his temples “ you wanna know what I mean, well we are going back to the old life, the life I always hated… you are getting back to work.. You are getting back to ignore me.. Acting like I am not exist anymore… you will kill yourself at work and when you are home you will be so tired to even talk to me, you will miss all my doctor appointments, you will miss all the events.. You will miss all my seizures so stop pretending that you care”

Louis was watching Harry yelling out of breath, he was very angry that his face turned red and all his hody was shaking

“ is this all because I am getting back to work”

“no… it’s because you always choose your work. And I will be again neglected”

“I never did this”  
Harry chuckled “really.. You need to remember What it was like before Stan tried to kill me, you know what I wish he did so I don’t have to live this fucking life again”

And no he didn’t just said that, cause Louis found himself slapping Harry at his face and then silence. 

The two of them stared at each other, Harry’s hand was now on his already bruised cheek and Louis’ hand was frozen in the air

Harry didn’t cry, he just shook his head “ we are done”

And he gave Louis his back, but Louis wouldn’t let this happen

“ Harry, wait.. “

He stopped Harry again “ you wish you were dead? Really? After all I had been through.. And you wish you were dead”

Harry snorted “ you didn’t even visited me once when I was there… what you had been through Louis? You were trying to catch a criminal who slapped you hard by doing his exact plan without being caught.. You were driving yourself crazy because you failed. You couldn’t catch him while he was under your nose from the start”

Louis eyes were glossy now “ do you even believe yourself “

“I believe myself because that was the truth.. You failed Louis and you couldn’t take it, it wasn’t about me, it was never about me”

“ Harry, what are you doing? “

Harry shook his head and took a deep angry breath “ I don’t know what to do anymore.. I am so angry and I don’t.. I hate this”

“what? “

“ us fighting.. “ Harry answered gritting his teeth, then he looked at Louis “ before the accident we were always fighting… we lost it Louis.. We lost the love and I was keep trying so hard to make it work… it’s not working anymore “

“stop” Louis said frowning, because this can’t be happening “ I just had you back… what are you doing? I can’t lose you again”

Harry was looking at Louis “ I wish I can believe you”

“Harry.. “

Harry shook his head again and closed his eyes “ oh God.. I am so tired.. Everything is crashing again. I thought.. I thought that my accident will change you. I was dying Louis.. No I was supposed to be dead. Least you can do is stay with me”

“I am with you” Louis said louder so maybe he can put reason back in his head

“ no, you aren’t… I know you were bad recently, you were fighting your demons…”

“ I was seeing you” Louis yelled but he was crying now, Harry stopped talking

“ my mind refused to believe that you were lying there in the coma, I was seeing you, you were talking to me… I couldn’t sleep because every time I closed my eyes I saw you, blue lips, closed eyes, not breathing… every time I closed my eyes I saw you dead”

He closed his eyes and wiped his tears “ I was hallucinating all the time.. I left my job and I literally lost my mind… I couldn’t see you at the hospital because if I did then it would be true… the day I saw you I collapsed… so don’t you dare say that I don’t care about you… because losing you Harry was the hardest thing I could ever lived through”

Harry then looked at him “ and here I am… then what?”

“Harry, you can’t ask me not to go back.. You just can’t”

“ and I can’t do it again… I can’t live through this again. I am sorry but I can’t “

“ you can’t what? “

“ it was never easy for me.. Louis I was hit by a car today because I seized at the middle of the street. Reek is dead because he tried to save me… I was burying him… fuck and I called you but as always you never picked up and I had enough of this.. I can’t do this again”

Louis was frozen at the middle of the room, Harry said the last word and then he moved to his bed, be lied on it and he covered himself with the duvet and he closed the light beside him.

******  
Louis slept last night on the couch, Harry didn’t wake him up and Louis didn’t try to leave his place.

Early morning Harry was in the kitchen, Louis heard some noises and he opened his eyes. He saw Harry was giving him his back in the kitchen making breakfast maybe.

Louis sighed and loses his eyes, he was having a terrible headache from the thinking and the tears he shed last night.

Last night was terrible, a lot of things happened, a lot of things were said, Harry was hit by a car and he buried his dog alone, he tried to call Louos but Louis was busy with his boss and his phone wasn’t with him, as usual.

Even Louis couldn’t forgive himself foe this, he felt terrible and he wanted to hug Harry tight and apologize but he knew Harry wouldn’t accept his apology at this Moment, so he gave him some space.

Louis left his new bed and he walked to the kitchen, Harry was fully dressed and obviously he was ready to leave.

Louis looked at his face and the bruise was worse, but his cut was covered now with a dressing  
Harry put. 

“ good morning “ Louis tried his luck

Harry looked at him “ good morning “

Then he walked to sit and a cup of coffee in his hand “ are you going anywhere? “

Harry didn’t look at him “ I am having an appointment with my doctor”

Louis “ Okay, give me ten minutes “

Harry shook his head “ no, you don’t have to.. “ then the door bell rang

Harry stood up “ my ride is here… “ he walked and then he stopped at the door and said “ please… behave”

And he walked away leaving Louis wondering, why behave? Then he heard the voice of a man, not that he could recognize the voice, so he walked out of the kitchen and he saw Nat standing there talking to Harry and looking at his face with worried eyes, then he reached his hand and touched his face, his bruised cheek and Louis couldn’t handle it, he couldn’t stand anyone touch Harry this way, with passion and with lust… no it was love

“ you didn’t leave? “ Louis found himself asking

Harry and Nate looked at him, Nate looked surprised at Harry who sighed and said “ I will bring my jacket”

He walked to upstairs passing Louis, but he whispered “ Louis please “ before he left them.

Louis was watching Nate who was shifting from one leg to the other nervously

“ I thought you left.. Harry said that” Louis said again  
Nate nodded “ yeah.. But I am not leaving soon”

Louis nodded, Nate added “ for your records, I didn’t know you were here… he called me last night and asked me to go with him to his appointment… I thought you weren’t here “

Louis didn’t say a word, Nate then sighed “ it’s happening daily now, his seizures I mean.. “ Louis looked at him confused, was Harry talking to him daily?  
“I have never seen him having one before.. “ Nate said like talking to himself, Louis could tell he was scared and nervous

“ just call me… if it happens call me” Louis said

Then Harry showed with his coat on, he looked between the two men and then he looked at Nate “ let’s go”

Louis didn’t talk, he let Harry walk away with Nate, he watched them get in the car and he saw the car moving away, but he didn’t miss how sad Harry’s eyes were.

****

It was later that night when Harry entered the house again, Louis was there and he was waiting for him. Harry headed directly to his bedroom, Louis gave him a moment then he followed him to the room.

Harry had already changed his clothes into a comfortable sweatpants and hoodie, he was on the bed and he was looking down that he didn’t notice Louis getting inside

“ how did it go? “

Harry flinched and then he looked at Louis, he shook his head but didn’t talk

Louis started to worry “ Harry, something happened? “

Harry took a deep breath then said “ I have to do a surgery”

Louis frowned “ again? “

Harry looked down, Louis walked and sat beside him “ tell me”

Harry took another deep breath and he obviously was crying or something cause his eyes were red “ do you remember what I told you when we first discussed my epilepsy? “

Louis’ heart started to beat very fast “ you told me a lot of things Harry…we talked about it for months.. “ he tried to smile

Harry looked at him and smiled “ about the heart part?”

Louis swallowed thickly “ yes”

And of course he remembered, that was the hardest part of all of it, Harry told him that maybe his epilepsy will affect his heart one day and may be a reason for a sudden cardiac arrest. Back then they didn’t think about it for long, it was an impossible thread and Harry didn’t talk about it for long and Louis didn’t ask.

“ well… it’s happening now” harry said

Louis frowned “ what is happening now? “

“ when the seizures returned they felt different, I started to feel cheat pain.. I didn’t know why I thought it was out of anxiety or something.. But my doctor insisted I should make some tests.. And obviously my heart is affected now”

“how? “ Louis finally managed to say

“ the severity of the seizures and the accident I had… obviously affected it badly and now every seizure I have weaken my heart more… and they are afraid of sudden cardiac arrest”

“Harry what are you talking about? “

Harry tried to smile “ I don’t know lou… I am telling what they said to me.. They want to discuss the options I have but surgery is the main one”

“we tried it before… it didn’t work”

Harry shrugged “I should try it again, they don’t think my heart can take another year of seizures” Louis kept looking at Harry, he didn’t believe what he just heard, why? Just why?

“are they sure? I mean we can always try another opinion “

Harry again shrugged “ I am with the best doctor in Uk”

“we will try outside UK… I mean.. Shit.. What can we do? “

Harry shook his head “ we will do nothing Louis.. We will just wait and see”

“it’s unfair” Louis whispered

Harry nodded his head and then he looked down, he let Louis hugging him and they both cried over each other shoulder.


	6. Chapter 6

When Louis opened his eyes the next morning, he found himself alone on the bed, he touched the spot beside him and it wasn’t even warm. Harry didn’t sleep last night.

He looked at his phone to check the time, 7:30 it said, left his bed and he walked out the room. He moved downstairs and he was looking for Harry, he couldn’t be out. But he heard his voice coming from the living room.

Louis walked closer and then he saw Harry on the phone, he was crying and he didn’t notice Louis “ I know Gem.. I know, but I had enough.. I can’t do it anymore”

Louis leaned on the wall behind him, he couldn’t possibly understand what was in Harry’s mind at this moment

“ fine, but I need you to tell mom” then he nodded “ yes Gemma this exactly what I want to do.. Okay, thanks.. Love you sis. Bye”

He ended the call and he lied his cellphone beside him in the couch, he didn’t move, he just took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Louis walked closer to make himself clear, he wanted to support him, he knew telling his family about the new condition was hard and heartbreaking too.

“ are you okay? “ Louis asked while sitting beside him  
Harry flinched and opened his eyes wide, Louis tried to smile “I am sorry. I just didn’t want to interrupt your phone”

“you heard the phone? “ he asked still shocked

Louis frowned “ just the end.. Everything okay? “

He saw Harry’s tensed shoulder relaxed a bit, and he knew there was something not told.

Harry didn’t answer him he closed his eyes again and rested his back on the couch

“ have you slept? “

Harry nodded “ I guess”

“when did you wake up? “he asked still examining him  
He shrugged “ two hours or maybe more”

Louis sighed “ haz, why didn’t you wake me up? “

Harry opened his eyes and he looked at Louis for a moment before he said “ I have an appointment today with my doctor "

Louis nodded, he knew how nervous and worried he was, Louis himself was, not after all that suffer, not after a year in a coma Harry would die like this, Louis wouldn’t let this happen. He wouldn’t let Harry go. No simply he wouldn’t.

“ Nate is coming to take me in two hours”

“Nate? “ Louis asked frowning deeply

Harry sighed “ please, louis”

“ I am not trying to do anything, I am trying to understand. Why did you call him Harry? “

“you have work Louis” he said it coldly

“ what are you even talking about? “

Harry rubbed his face “ I don’t wanna fight”

“then don’t start one” Louis snapped

Harry looked at him again, but angry this time “me? I start the fight? “ then he shook his head in disbelief and left the couch. Louis followed him  
“ call him, tell him Louis is coming with me, my husband is coming with me”

Harry was giving him his back and he was leaning his hand on the counter he slowly said “ no”

Louis became furious “ no? “

“ I don’t want you to come with me Louis “ he said then he looked at him

“ I know I will do this alone.. So I will do it alone from the beginning “

Louis shook his head, but he was shocked “ what are you talking about”

Harry sighed “ you and I know that you won’t be there Louis. I had enough. I won’t do it anymore like this” he chuckled “ even my doctor says I can’t “

Louis started to panic, his heart started to bang in his chest “ what are you talking about? What are you doing? “

Harry closed his eyes but Louis saw the tears falling from his eyes  
“Harry? “

“ I am moving out”

Louis didn’t talk, he kept staring at Harry  
“ I am going to live with Nate.. I would go with Niall but he can barely help himself, and I can't stay with mom back there “ Harry opened his eyes but refused to look at Louis, he was looking down

“no” Louis finally found himself saying

“ I want a divorce Louis”

Louis gasped, he was shaking his head “ no, no… harry. I can’t.. Please “

Harry didn’t move, so Louis took his hands and Harry looked at him, Louis was in tears now. This can’t be happening, not now and not like this. He can’t lose Harry, and a divorce? He will lose him forever and Louis just can’t do that

“baby, I am sorry. I am so sorry but please don’t leave me. Harry I can’t make it without you I won’t make it without you”he was crying

Harry was crying now too “ don’t cry please “ he whispered

Louis wiped his tears hastily “ I will change, I will do whatever you want.. But don’t leave me” then he hugged Harry frantically and tightly

“ baby please don’t do this to me” he said on Harry’s shoulder

Harry didn’t hug him back, he was still crying too  
“ Harry, please “ then he looked at him and cupped his face “ how could you ask me to do this? How could you hazza, do you wanna leave me again? No.. “ he shook his head “ last time I lost my mind… this time I will die”

Harry was watching Louis eyes, he was being manic, he was literally losing his mind  
He started to hyperventilate and he couldn’t breath, he left Harry and he clutched his chest  
He looked down and he tried to breath, but nothing was getting in  
He felt Harry’s hand on his back, he didn’t know how he was on the floor now, he felt Harry’s hand on his face cupping it and he was talking to him, but Louis didn’t hear him at all.

He was still unable to breath, he was panicking now and he started to feel dizzy, he started to feel numb in his limbs and his lips, he looked at Harry but he was hazy, and he started to see dark cloud showing on his eyes, it didn’t last long, the lung burn and the dizziness, Harry was screaming that was one true thing, but Louis decided to stop it all, he closed his eyes and he welcomed all the dark he fell in. The calmness, the quiet.

******  
When Louis opened his eyes, he felt terrible headache behind his eyes, he groaned and he pressed his fingers on his eyes so maybe he can distract the pain a little

“ pills and water beside you” a voice said

Louis looked directly at him, he was Zayn sitting at the chair at the corner with a book in his hand,  
Louis looked around him he was still in his house  
“ Harry” he said suddenly and he sat up bolt

Zayn was watching him frowning “ relax mate, he is in the kitchen making you some food”

Louis looked at him and he was two minute from throwing up  
“ shit” he covered his mouth

“ if you gonna throw up there is a bucket under the bed” Zayn said walking to him.

Louis shook his head slowly, he wasn’t going to threw up but he was feeling awful Zayn sat in front of him on the bed, he sighed “ Harry said you had a panic attack?" Did he?

He slightly nodded, Zayn asked “ care to explain what happened? Cause your husband hasn’t said a word since he come back”

Louis looked at Zayn with big eyes “he went? “

Zayn nodded and he was confused “ he didn’t want to go, but he said it was an important appointment and he can’t not go”

Louis didn’t talk

“ so tell me, cause obviously he was crying. His eyes is puffed and swollen this much” he pointed at his eyes  
Louis took a deep breath and said “ he was with his doctor “

Zayn nodded frowning waiting for more  
“ he has to do a surgery “

“again? “

Louis shook his head “ his seizures now affect his heart. There is a possibility of a heart attack and his doctor says his heart is very weak to have one”

“ shit” Zayn whispered and was looking down

“ and he wants a divorce”

Zayn snapped his head up to him “ what! “

“he says he can’t take it anymore, he is sure that I won’t be there with him again… And he is very serious, he means that”

“of course not.. He is just scared.. Damn it he is so fucked up”

Louis sighed “ when he told me about the divorce I panicked. I can’t live without him Zayn.. I just can’t “

“ calm down. You won’t get a divorce what are you talking about? After all you have been through? “

Louis closed his eyes, he shook his head “ I don’t know.. He hates me”

“he doesn’t “

But Louis didn’t say anything, then he closed his eyes and wished that it was another nightmare.

The door was opened and he heard Harry saying “ is he awake? “

Louis looked at him and said “ he is”

Harry looked at Louis and he saw him turning into pale as sheet

“ how are you feeling? “ Harry asked getting inside the room

Louis sighed and he nodded “ fine”

Harry looked at the nightstand beside him “ you didn’t take the pills “

Louis also liked beside him “ I will now”

“good, good… dinner is ready “

He left the room and no one stopped him, but Louis sensed that Harry was running away, he couldn’t stay longer and he was trying to escape.

Zayn didn’t stay for dinner, so he left the couple alone.   
Harry was preparing the food when the Louis entered the kitchen after saying goodbye to Zayn.

He sat on the table and Harry was still unaware of his existence. Harry was lost in his thoughts with a deep frown on his face

“ everything alright? “

Harry flinched that his body shook and he dropped the plate in his hand and it shattered into pieces “ damn Harry” Louis said while kneeling on the ground to collect the pieces.

Louis then noticed that Harry was still frozen on his place, Louis looked at him and then he jumped in time before Harry collapsed on the ground he helped him to lie on the ground on his back away from the broken glasses, because not again. He won’t let Harry hurt himself again.

Harry didn’t convulse, it was a tonic seizure. His all muscles were stiffened, his eyes were opened and rolled at the back of his head, his breath was rigid but it always stays for only short seconds.

Louis was by him watching his watch, and after twenty seconds Harry’s body relaxed again

Louis patted his shoulder “ are you okay love? “

Harry didn’t answer, he just looked at Louis  
“ I am gonna roll you to your side, okay”

And he slowly did watching Harry carefully “ you just had a tonic seizure Harry, how do you feel? “ and then he took off his sweatshirt and put it under Harry’s head 

“ are you with me? Are you okay? “

Harry still not answering, he then closed his eyes   
“ it’s okay, it just a small one. You will be fine”

Then Louis sighed while checking his pulse, it was okay, but he needed to make sure, they are now worried about his heart

Then he looked at Harry’s face and he saw tears on his cheek now “ what is it? Harry? “

Harry didn’t open his eyes but he whispered “ I am okay”

Louis nodded “ yes love, you are okay”

Harry looked at him and Louis wiped his tears by his thump, he smiled “ can you stand up? It’s not conformable sitting here”

Slowly Harry nodded, and Louis helped him to stand up. Louis wanted to put Harry on bed but Harry insisted to eat. Although Louis knew Harry couldn’t eat anything now but he obliged, he didn’t want to upset Harry.

After eating almost half of their dinner. Louis cleaned the kitchen while Harry moved to the living room   
When Louis headed to him he expected to see him sleeping hut Harry wasn’t, he was watching TV

Louis sat beside him and he looked at him “ how are you feeling now? “

“good, and you? “

Louis nodded “don’t worry about me, I am okay”

Harry nodded, Louis took a deep breath “ what did the doctor say? “

Harry looked at him and then he shook his head “ it’s bad”

Louis frowned “how? “

Harry shrugged “ my seizures not always start at the same part in my brain, and some parts are not safely removed and I guess we know that from my previous surgery , so they gonna make a series of shallow cuts in the brain tissue. These cuts interrupt the movement of seizure impulses but do not disturb normal brain activity “

Louis nodded trying his best to understand, Harry then looked down and Louis knew here comes the scary part

“ the problem is, I should be sleeping under anaesthesia so they need to do a lot of test to make sure my heart is gonna take it, so till this moment.. We don’t know anything, we will just have to wait.  
They recommend some cardio physicians.. I have an appointment next Sunday “

Louis again nodded “and if your heart can stand the anaesthesia what will happen? “

Harry shrugged “ I will do the surgery, it’s my only option to reduce the frequency of the fits”

“it’s not gonna remove it all? “

Harry shook his head “ no, I think it will stick with me till i die. I mean if it didn’t kill me anyway”

Louis was watching Harry, he was depressed and Louis could understand why

He put his hand on Harry’s “ you will be okay”

Harry looked at him but he didn’t talk, then he sighed   
“ about what happened this morning.. “

“Harry stop” Louis begged

Then he took a deep breath “ I quit. I told Zayn to tell the boss. I will be there for you.. Just you and  
me”

Harry was watching him, he didn’t talk  
“ I swear.. I promise you, no more. It’s only you who matters to me. We will go through this together we will be okay”

Harry gave a breath he was holding and then he hugged Louis really tight, then he looked at him “ you will do this for me? “

Louis nodded with tears in his eyes “ you are all that matter to me Harry, I refuse to let you go”

Harry smiled “ what will you do for living then? “

Louis shrugged “ anything, I could be a teacher with you at the school. I always wanted to try this..  
Working with kids”

Harry snorted “ you hate kids”

“no i am not, how dare you? If my siblings hear you they will kill both of us”

Harry giggled “ but it is the truth”

Louis shook his head “ no, that was before, now I guess I am ready”

Harry looked at him with big eyes “ ready? “

Louis smiled still watching the excitement and the hope in Harry’s eyes “ you always wanted a kid”

“ oh God” harry looked down and he covered his eyes  
Louis smiled “ I promise you, when you are okay after the surgery we can try the adoption agencies”

Harry looked at him with tears “ are you serious? Please tell me you mean it? “

Louis smiled and kissed Harry on his forehead “ of course I mean it baby, that what you always wanted.. You have been talking about it for eight years”

Harry giggled again, then he looked at Louis “ eight years already? “

Louis looked at him “ not exactly, I can’t count the last year.. But I am ready to live the rest of my life with you”

Harry smiled again, and he nodded “ me too lou”

“ Harry.. “ Louis said

“ did you really mean it? The divorce mean? “

Harry sighed and looked down, he shrugged “ I don’t know... “ he looked at Louis “ I guess not, I just wanted you to be there for me. Not just for me... With me. I know I have been through hell last year.. I almost died.. But I didn’t feel anything, I wasn’t even scared. But this time it’s different, I am awake, I am aware... And I am so scared Lou”

Louis hugged him and he didn’t talk, then he said while still hugging him “ promise me Harry, you won’t leave me ever”

Harry hugged him tight and he whispered in his ears “ I promise you, you too promise me” Louis smiled “ I promise you too”

And they both meant it but they both didn’t know that no one of them would keep his promise.


	7. Chapter 7

Louis couldn’t sleep that night when he put Harry on bed, he couldn’t leave his side as well. He found himself sinking in the memories of their first meeting , when Harry saved his life with his old Alby, when Harry showed him that video of himself having a seizure.

He remembered how scared he was first time he witnessed a seizure and how proud he was when he didn’t leave. And how could he leave? Louis fell in love with Harry from he first saw him at that bar, that hair and those eyes were enough to make him went under the love spell that no one made. He loved Harry before he knew he was sick, he loved him more when he knew.

He remembered when he proposed when Harry said yes, the honeymoon, the first year.

He remembered how happy they were then he remembered how their lives took different turn. When he buried himself in work neglecting Harry, he remembered how many times he let him down and how much he made him upset.

He remembered Stan and what he did to Harry and Niall. He sighed and rubbed his face, Stan was already out there alive, and fee. The idea panicked Louis specially because he will have to drop his work now and watch over Harry.

He looked at Harry again who was sleeping deeply beside him. He was blessed to have Harry in his life and he didn’t even try to think that Harry’s life was in danger.. Again.

Harry opened his eyes slowly and he saw Louis looking at him with a small smile on his face, he smiled back too and then buried his face in the pillow shyly

“ you are awake? “ Harry said with his morning voice  
Louis nodded “ I am”

“ what time is it? “

“ still early.. You can sleep for another hour before the appointment of you need”

Harry rolled to be on his back “ no, I am okay” he rubbed his face and then looked at him “ tell me you slept”

Louis nodded “ I did, I just wake up” he said then he left the bed

He knew Harry’s eyes were on him but he didn’t care right now, he didn’t want to worry Harry with his worries.

Louis was in the kitchen trying to make the breakfast when he saw Harry entering and he froze at the middle of the kitchen “ what are you doing? “

Louis looked at him “breakfast? “

Harry shook his head “ no, no.. “ then he walked towards him and he took the pan from his hand.  
He put it on the stove and he looked at Louis and smiled “ are you trying to burn the house again? “

Louis huffed dramatically “ oh come on.. I didn’t, it was just the kitchen, not all of the kitchen too”

Harry was laughing, then he looked down “ what do you want to eat? “

Louis sat on the table “ anything... “ Harry didn’t move, then he looked at Louis “ let’s go out”

“ what? “

Harry sighed and then he raised his hands and they were shaking badly “ I can’t control them”

Louis frowned and he walked closer to Harry and took his hands

“ I guess that’s the side effect of the new drug the doctor wrote for me, it also makes me too dizzy.. I can barely stand” he tried to smile while he swayed but Louis supported him with his strong arms “ what the..”  
He helped Harry to sit on the chair and he was watching him nervously

“ relax, it’s the new drug” Harry said looking at him  
Louis sighed and sat beside him, he shook his head in frustration

“ I will be fine” Harry added

Louis looked at him “it just... I.. It’s not fair, you don’t deserve any of this Harry.. I don’t know” and he couldn’t control his tears

Harry frowned and he was the one who took Louis’ hand now “ hay, you can’t be weak now, I need you strong.. I need you to give me confidence and care” he smiled “ you make me strong “

Louis was very anxious, he was thinking of outs of things, Harry’s new surgery, and heart attack that was a possibility now, and then there was Stan that no one believed he was out there alive and free.

Harry hugged Louis and rubbed his back “ please, don’t be like this now”

Louis hugged him back “ I love you Harry, it just it makes me feel anxious all the time”

Harry nodded then he cupped his face “ but guess what, I know I will be okay.. I will be fine and healthy, I feel it”

Louis nodded “ yes, yes love you will”

Then he smiled and wiped his tears, he kissed Harry’s hand and he knew he gotta pull himself together or else Harry will collapse and at that moment he needed him strong and positive

“ okay, let’s help you dress something”

Louis helped Harry to wear his clothes, and to be honest it hurt him how his hands were shaking and how he couldn’t stand for long time, he hated to see him this way and while he was dressing him his shoes because Harry almost fell on his face when he was trying tie it, Louis was sitting between  
Harry’s leg on the ground and when he looked at Harry his eyes were closed

“ are you gonna be sick? “ Louis asked

Harry shook his head but still eyes closed “ everything is spinning “

Louis sighed and didn’t move, slowly Harry opened his eyes  
“ better? “ Louis asked again

“ yeah.. I guess”

“ what is it? What kind of drug is this? “

Harry sighed “ it will help not to ha e seizures as long as it can lou. The doctors told me about it. I am just having it till the surgery “

And Louis hated it even more, Harry would be this way till his surgery, the surgery that they still didn’t talk about it.

“are you sure you can go out? “

Harry nodded “ i need to go out I feel agitated here”

Louis nodded “ okay, give me five minutes “

And he walked to the bathroom to fix his hair. While he was in front of the mirror Louis saw his eyes were glossy and he didn’t like how weak he was right now, he was very weak and very sensitive but he needed to be strong “pull it together “ he whispered to himself before leaving the bathroom.

He didn’t found Harry at the bed, he yelled his name panicking “ Harry? “

“ I am here” his voice came almost immediately from down stairs

Louis ran downstairs and he saw Harry was in his coat leaning on the wall and playing with his phone “ you are okay? “

Harry nodded and they walked outside.

The breakfast was amazing, they were talking and laughing as if they were having one of their first date. Although the two of them were worried and nervous but also the two of them pretended that everything was okay. They would end okay. They hoped.

*****  
Louis and Harry were sitting in front of the doctor at his office

The doctor was reading Harry’s file, Harry had just ended the tests and he was waiting for the results  
“ Mr Tomlinson, so you are having epilepsy since?”

Harry answered “ umm... Twenty seven years”

The doctor nodded and looked again at the file in front of him “ what happened lately? You were in a coma for a whole year? “

Harry looked at Louis for help, and then he looked down

Louis was the one who talked “ I guess the medical information are all in this file”

The doctor looked at Louis and then he smiled “ of course, but I need to know the history of my patient”

“in the file” Louis said sternly

The doctor sighed, and then he put the pen down, and looked between the two men “ you are the husband I suppose? “

OK, what was his wrong? Seriously?

“ I am” Louis answered trying his best to be calm, even Harry noticed and he took his hand an squeezed softly  
The doctor “ I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but the file here and the echos shows a big damage to the heart, I need to know the environment he is in, I need to know if he is at any risk” Louis was frozen for a second because Harry was at risk to be honest, Hello... There was Stan.

“ I am fine.. I had an accident and I am sure it won’t happen again”

The doctor looked at Harry “ you were attacked Harry, someone strangled you.. “

Harry closed his eyes and Louis felt he was breathing fast, he looked at him, did he remember?  
“are you okay? “

Harry slowly nodded and he opened his eyes but he was looking down

“ can we please get it over with? Is his heart able to take the surgery? “ Louis asked the doctor impatiently  
The doctor sighed “ yes, he can”

“thank you” he looked at Harry again, then at the doctor “ is there anything we need to know? “

“ I am sorry” the doctor said looking at Harry “ I didn’t mean to upset you Mr Tomlinson but.. Your case is really complicated, you need to know that you can’t be stressed, there’s a new diet you need to go on. Your life style is going to change, the damage in your heart is not that bad but we have to protect it.. I mean how many times do you have seizure weekly? “

Harry sighed and looked at him “ a lot”

The doctor smiled sadly “ can you be more accurate? “

Then he looked at Louis, Louis was watching Harry too “ maybe... Three times? Right love? “

Harry shook his head “ I have them daily, sometimes twice a day”

Louis frowned and the doctor saw it, “ and do you always tell your husband? “

Harry sighed and looked down “ not all the time.. It’s complicated “

The doctor nodded while Louis looked down, Harry was having them daily and sometimes twice and he didn’t tell Louis that, why? Because he thought he wouldn’t be there

“ okay Mr Tomlinson.. Do you.. “

“Harry.. “ Harry interrupted him “ please call me Harry”

The doctor nodded “okay, Harry you must tell him from now on. We can’t risk a heart attack, and we can’t risk you having it alone, so you understand.. If you felt any new symptoms.. Like pain in the chest, dizziness or any funny new feelings.. You need to tell someone right away”

Harry nodded

“ Harry.. If you had a heart attack before the surgery, you won’t be able to make it and trust me... It’s gonna be bad”

Harry again nodded

The doctor smiled “ you will be okay, I am gonna right you some drugs and don’t worry it won’t interact with the epileptic drugs so you will fine”

Harry sighed and looked down

“ what? “ the doctor asked

Louis took Harry’s hand and said “he is having a new drug to control his seizures and he is having the whole side effects”

The doctor nodded “ I understand, but I guarantee there will be none”

Harry nodded “ it’s fine”  
*****  
During the ride back home, Harry was silent and only staring through the window. Louis parked the car and Harry didn’t even notice, Louis looked at him “ are you okay? “

Harry looked at him and he nodded “ yeah.. Just zoned out... Sorry”

Louis smiled “ it’s okay.. Will you tell me? “

Harry smiled and shook his head “ it’s stupid”

“nooo”

Harry giggled “ you will laugh”

“I won’t “

Harry smiled “ I was having a daydream I guess”

“ really, what? “ he laughed " sorry"

Harry smiled “ I was thinking about the trip you told me about, remember? ”

Louis was watching him he smiled widely “ I do.. Yeah”

“ I was thinking about it, like us going there together, wandering around New places we know nothing about”

“trying new food”

“trying new food.. Yeah”

“ sleeping on different beds” he smirked

Harry looked at him and laughed “ seriously? “

Louis shrugged “ I missed you”

Harry nodded “ I missed you too”

Louis took a deep breath “ you know what? Let’s do it.. Let’s go around Europe”

Harry smiled “ yeah..”

“Harry I mean it.. Let’s do it. Once you feel okay we will do it okay, you can pick the places”

Harry was watching him talking and when he stopped he said “ you know I love you right? “

Louis smiled back at him “ and I love you too baby”

“ you know what... We still can try our bed”

Louis smirked “ can we? “

Harry shrugged “ can’t see why we can’t “

Louis “ can you do it? How do you feel? “

“ I feel fine to be honest”

Louis nodded “ okay,... Okay let’s do it”

He was very nervous but he looked at Harry and he was smiling back at him. Louis left the car and helped Harry too and together they headed to their house and directly to their bedroom.

*****  
Louis slept that night, because he was feeling amazing last night and he was so exhausted, he slept hugging Harry and he wake up at the same position, he looked at Harry who was still sleeping, another side effect of the drugs that it knocked him out.

He slowly left his side and decided to bought him some donuts, Harry always loved the donuts from the coffee shop at the end of their street.

Louis decided to take a walk, he needed some fresh air and he needed to think alone.

He needed someone to talk to so he decided to call Zayn  
“ hello Tommo” Zayn answered

Louis smiled “ hello Zayn. How are you? “

“I am okay, you and Harry? “

Louis nodded “ yeah we are okay”

Then Louis noticed that car that he could swear he saw her a kit recently, it was there yesterday when he was with Harry, and it was there last night when they arrived and now he felt it was following him.

Louis entered the coffee shop and ordered and when he looked back he saw the car parked few meters away from the shop

“ Louis... Are you there? “ Zayn said through the phone

“ yes, yes.. Sorry”

“ it’s okay.. So will you come? “

“where? “ he asked and he walked towards the door to have a better look

“ the dinner with us and Liam?”

“sure.. When? “

“ at six”

“okay.. I gotta go.. I will call you later”

He was going out when he heard his name was called, he looked behind him and there was the water giving him his donuts. Louis took it and walked out.

The car disappeared.

Louis started to walk back home but he was restless he was looking around him for the car but it vanished, and before he got inside his house he took a long look and there was no car.

He entered the house and closed the door behind him, he put the box at the kitchen table and decided to wake Harry up

He climbed up stairs, he opened the door and he was shocked

Harry was sitting on the bed his hand on his chest and he was trying to breath

Louis found his legs first and he ran to Harry “ what happened? “ Harry didn’t look at him he didn’t move “ Harry... What is it? “

Harry looked at him with tears all over his face  
“ I... I... I remember “


	8. Chapter 8

“ I remember “

Harry said and he looked in front of him again, his body was all shaking strongly and he obviously was struggling to breath. 

Louis sat beside him and he put his hand on his back, but Harry flinched and he stood up maybe too fast cause next thing he was falling on the ground. Louis caught him between his arms and rest him in the bed again  
“ Harry.. It’s okay.. It’s all gone now”

Harry looked at him with eyes filled with fears and tears “ I.. I remember “

Louis nodded and he hugged Harry, Harry was sobbing on Louis’ lap, he clutched his shirt and he was still shaking and now Louis started to worry

“ baby, you need to calm down. Okay? “

Harry didn’t respond, he didn’t hear him  
“ Harry, love.. Please. Listen to me”

Then he cupped Harry’s face “ I am here, you are okay, he is dead remember? We saw him dying..  
He is gone”

Harry looked at him, he was trying to calm himself down “ you weren’t there”

“ what? “

“ and I heard Niall... He was calling my name, and then Stan.. He showed up on my face and he was laughing at me.. “

“ Harry.. Please. Calm down” then Louis looked around him for his phone, he remembered putting it in his pocket so he fished it out of his pocket and he looked at Harry again “ I am gonna call you your doctor Harry, you need to calm down”

Harry was looking at some spot in front of him and Louis knew he was trapped in his mind, Louis cupped Harry’s face again “ look at me... Harry look at me okay” finally Harry did “ you are safe now, no one is going to hurt you, you trust me right? “

Harry nodded, Louis smiled “ good and I will be there, always Harry. Nothing is going to happen to you, not when I am alive”

“he has partner” he looked down

And then everything froze

Louis tried to calm his crazy heart “ what? “

Harry looked at him “ I heard them talking “

Louis shook his head “no, baby.. He worked alone”

Harry then stood up and Louis copied him, Harry was trying to walk but Louis knew what was happening, Harry was about to have a seizure, he slowly took his hand and he put him on bed and once he was on bed his muscles tensed and he lied on the bed. Louis stayed beside him when the convulsion started, he stayed and he was watching his watch, and he was crying, because he wasn’t supposed to have any one before the surgery, because every one affects the heart badly, because with this seizure Harry must take two pills of the drug that cause him dizziness, he was crying because Harry remembered his hugest nightmare and now Louis must stay to fight his demons with him.

When Harry stopped seizing Louis nearly begged him to wake up again, Harry was exhausted enough to open his eyes again

When Louis was in tears and still begging, and after calling for an ambulance Harry opened his eyes for a few seconds then he closed it again.  
*****  
Harry was sleeping in the hospital bed, Louis was just beside him holding his hand in his and he was closing his eyes. That was too much, he was so scared that Harry just had a heart attack, he was too scared that he witnessed Harry dying between his hands.

Harry wasn’t dying or anything, he was very exhausted, he had a panic attack then a seizure, both consumed all his power and he couldn’t put himself out of the seizure.

They gave him some sedatives and he was expected to wake up anytime now

Louis called Zayn and Liam and told them what just happened, he was trying his best not to panic himself when he saw the medics taking unconscious Harry on the stretcher, he needed someone with him to maybe give him some strength.

Louis heard whimpers and he opened his eyes and he saw Harry was crying while sleeping, he prayed not again please lord, but Harry suddenly opened his eyes  
“ hay baby, it’s okay” Louis said getting closer to Harry  
Harry looked at him and Louis wiped his tears “ that was a bad dream”

Harry tried to smile, then he looked around him by his eyes “ you are in the hospital “

Harry looked at Louis with a frown and fear in his eyes, Louis “ you are fine. You were so exhausted to wake up by yourself, I guess I freaked out and called the ambulance, but they say I did the right thing “

Harry’s features softened a little and he then closed his eyes “ are you sleepy baby? “

Harry opened his eyes again and nodded, Louis said “ okay sleep, I will be here when you wake up.  
I promise “

Harry nodded and squeezed Louis’ hand soft and he then closed his eyes again.

*****  
Harry didn’t wake up for the rest of the day. Zayn entered the room and he gave Louis the coffee he hot him, he was watching Harry “ how is he?”

Louis was still watching him, as if he was scared if he didn’t Harry would go somewhere “ the same”

Then he looked at Zayn “ wake up for a few seconds, couldn’t even say a word then he drifted back to sleep”

Zayn nodded, Louis said “ they want to make the surgery as fast as they could “

Zayn didn’t talk, Louis sighed “ I have to call Ann and Gemma, they should come”

Zayn nodded “ what are the risks? Do you know?”

“ swelling to the brain, or damage of the brain cells... Another coma”

“ oh Lou, I am sure he will be okay”

“ I don’t know I feel... I feel” then he cried, Zayn put his hand in his shoulder and squeezed “ hay, hay.. Non of that. Harry had been through a lot and every time he surprises me. He is so strong and I know he is gonna make it”

Louis nodded and wiped his tears “ he doesn’t deserve all of this. I mean this is all my fault “

Zayn sighed “and now you are being ridiculous Louis, how is this your fault? “

Louis looked at him “ last year is my fault, Stan was after me not him. His heart is weak because of what happened to him, and now he remembers and I don’t know what to do”

“he remembers?” Zayn asked

Louis nodded “ he said he does and he said Stan had a partner, I know he must be hallucinating or something but.. He didn’t tell me what he exactly remembered and he panicked then he had his seizure “

“ but there is no partner Louis, we know that”

Louis shrugged, Zayn looked at Harry who was still sleeping “ we should ask him”

Louis wanted to say no, and it would be dangerous but he knew he couldn’t, he wanted to know the truth, he wanted to know if there was a partner or not and who was he.


	9. Chapter 9

Later that night, Niall was there, he was visiting Harry and when he left the room Louis was actually waiting for him, he had a lot of questions right now to ask  
Niall looked at him “ he is scared “

Louis nodded “ can we talk? “

Niall looked at him and his face turned pale in a second, Louis sighed “ relax... It’s not like what you think”

Then he pushed his wheelchair and they sat at the corner.

Louis looked at Niall and said “ he remembered what happened “

Niall looked at him with big eyes “ did he?”

Louis shrugged “ that what he said before he panicked and then seized”

“fuck” Niall cursed looking down

Louis was not sure if he should ask Niall or not but he did anyway “ Niall.. Can I ask you something? “

“sure” Niall said looking again at him. 

“that night... When you were in Stan’s House.. Did you see anyone else?”

“what? “

Louis continued “ Harry said this morning that Stan had a partner.. I mean I don’t know if he was hallucinating or not but I gotta make sure”

Niall was looking in front in horror, Louis hated to remind him of that awful night he knew Joe bad it felt and how scary Niall must was feeling at that moment

“ I don’t know Tommo.. I mean I don’t remember much at the night. I remember us getting inside and then I said I will check up stairs and Harry went to the basement.. I checked the first two rooms and both were empty and once I was leaving the second room I felt awful pain at my back and then.. Everything turned blurry.. I fell down and I couldn’t move..” he swallowed before continuing “ when I saw the blood I knew it was mine.. And all I wanted was to warn Harry.. I tried to call his name.. But my voice could not help me and I felt I was drifting away.. And next thing I was lying on the hospital bed can’t feel my lower limbs”

Louis patted Niall’s thigh when he saw how badly he was shaking “ I am sorry Niall, I didn’t mean to remind you”

Niall rubbed his face “ I never forgot Louis.. How can I forget. I still have nightmares”

Then he looked at Louis “ but he is dead, right? Harry told me he is finally dead right? “

Louis had to nod, he didn’t have to tell Niall about his doubts he just assured the poor lad that Stan was dead and he was safe and there was nothing to worry about, Harry must was confused when he talked about the partner and Louis assured him it was one man job. 

When Niall left Louis entered Harry’s room back, Harry wasn’t sleeping he was lying awake on the bed, when he saw Louis he smiled

Louis sat beside him “ feeling better? “

“ I am” then the door was knocked and it was Liam who entered looking at harry with a pure smile on his face  
“ how are you Harry now? “ he asked while sitting beside him

Harry smiled and he looked at Liam “ I am doing better Liam thank you”

Liam looked at Louis before directing his next question to Harry “ are you sure ? “

Louis frowned and looked and Liam  
Harry giggled “ I am fine Liam I promise “

Liam felt Louis eyes were on him, he sighed “ Zayn and Simon are on the way”

“ why? “ Louis asked shocked

Liam smiled nervously “ to check on Harry”

Harry looked at Louis and he took his hand when he saw the frown on his face to calm him down “ Liam what is going on? “

Liam shrugged and then the door was knocked again, Zayn and Simon entered the room and Louis looked between them, Zayn tried to smile to Harry  
“ how are you Harry, long time no see” Simon said

Harry looked at Simon “ feeling better Simon Thank you”

Simon looked at Louis “ hello Louis”

“hello boss.. What is going on? “ he asked whole leaving his seat

Simon ignored Louis and looked at Harry “ Harry can we talk? “

Harry felt a little bit nervous and looked at Louis, then he sat on his bed and leaned on the pillow behind him  
Louis looked between Zayn and Liam and both were nervous and avoiding looking at Louis. That was when Louis knew there was something wrong

“I talked to your doctor and he told me it was okay”

Harry slowly nodded, Simon walked closer “ it’s about the accident since you remembered”

Louis saw Harry swallowing thickly and he nodded, small sweat beads formed on his forehead and  
Louis felt he was going to panic, he put his hand on Harry’s hand to give him some strength

“ I thought the case was closed? “ Harry asked

Simon nodded “it is... But you mentioned something about a partner Harry”

Harry nodded “i did”

“are you sure? “ Simon asked and Louis was watching Simon nervously something happened and he needed to know

Harry shrugged “ I didn’t see him but I am sure there was two people”

“ what makes you so sure Harry? “

Harry looked down “ when he... When he was hanging me” Harry said and put his hand around his neck “ I heard someone was telling him to put me down”

Louis almost gasped when he heard Harry saying this, he squeezed his husband hand maybe too much that Harry had to rub Louis hand softly

Simon “ but you didn’t see him? “

Harry looked back at Simon and shook his head “ I didn’t... I don’t think I can remember that part to be honest”

Simon nodded and then said “ Harry this is important, if you remembered anything please tell me”

Then Liam said “ I don’t believe there is a partner I mean if there was any where did he go, and why did he remain silent all this time? “

Harry looked at Louis and didn’t talk, Louis was the one who said “ maybe he was waiting for something”

“ waiting for what? I am sorry Harry hut I guess it’s your mind that is trying to deceive you.. You were dying how could you possibly be sure”

Harry gasped and looked at Louis shockingly “but I am sure... I am sure lou.. I heard him ask Niall.  
He may remember anything "

Simon answered for Louis “ Niall doesn’t remember any partner Harry”

Harry looked down at his lap and he cried, then Simon walked closer to him and squeezed his shoulder “ don’t worry... You are safe. I will make sure nothing hurts you again”

Harry didn’t look at Simon again, and then Simon left the room followed by Zayn and Liam. 

“you believe me right? “ Harry started while wiping his tears

“ I do love. But you need to give me more than this Harry”

Harry looked at him “ I am sorry but I can’t remember, but I am sure there was someone... I know the voice but I just...” then he didn’t talk

Louis was shocked now “ but what?”

“ I can’t recognise it now.. I remember I knew that voice.. But”

Then he rubbed his head strongly, Louis took Harry’s hand “ hay.. Hay easy there. It’s okay. It will come to you, you are safe anyway, Stan is dead and his partner must be scared and hiding so you are okay.. “

Harry looked at him and louis smiled “ I will never let anything hurt you Harry, that’s a promise.  
Nothing is going to hurt you again”

Harry nodded, Louis said “ listen.. What if you have some rest. I am gonna bring myself some coffee and get back to you”

Harry sighed and lied on the bed he nodded and closed his eyes

Louis “ that’s it, I don’t need you to think about anything, you need to focus on getting better” Then he kissed him on the forehead and he left the room.

He was looking for Zayn and Liam and once he saw them talking or arguing he headed towards them  
“ what the hell is going on? “ he asked

They looked at him and Liam said “ louis...”

But Zayn stopped him “ Liam “

Liam glared at Zayn and said “ it’s his husband he needs to know, it’s Harry”

And his heard dropped now, he knew there was something bad

“ what is wrong? “ he looked between them, then he said “ Zayn? “

Zayn sighed and shook his head, but Liam put out his phone and gave it to Louis “ we received this package at the morning “

Louis looked at the phone, and then it showed a painting of Harry

He gasped

Harry was this time sitting on a chair closing his eyes as if sleeping, and at the middle of his chest there was two bloody holes.

Louis looked at Liam and he couldn’t breath  
Liam “ you were right, Stan isn’t dead"


	10. Chapter 10

Louis knew that it was impossible to leave Harry alone after what he saw. It was impossible for him to let Harry out of his sight.

Louis couldn’t put the last image out of his mind, Harry was again dead in this photo and again he relived the awful memory again and again. 

“ we did the tests” first thing Harry’s doctor said that morning. Harry was supposed to know if the last siezure affected the heart or not. If he can make the surgery or not. 

Harry was sitting between his mom and Louis on the bed , while Gemma was standing at the end of the bed and they all were waiting impatiently but also scared 

“I am sorry Harry, but it is impossible to make the surgery”

Anne gasped while Harry didn’t even blink, he kept staring at his doctor and he didn’t utter a single word. 

“ but you said he can” it was Louis who argued, he felt scared and unable to think cause what did it even mean 

“ that was before the last attack. It’s not just the heart, it is also the brain, so the surgury wouldn’t add or fix anything.. We will put him in danger only and we are scared that the heart will not take it " his neuro doctor said

Then he looked at Harry who was now looking down “ we will try new lines of drugs and we will hope it will work” slowly Harry nodded only because all the eyes were on him waiting for any answer. 

The doctor patted Harry’s leg and then said “ you will be okay Harry”

Again harry nodded without raising his head up.

“ is there anything you want to ask about? “

“when can I go home? “ he asked weakly with a broken voice. Louis knew he was trying hard not to cry, he was trying his best to look as strong as he was. 

The doctor looked between Louis and Anne then said “ we can discuss the new treatment and then you can leave”

“ I want to leave today” harry added 

“baby... “ Louis said looking at harry but Harry stopped him “ I don’t have to stay anyway.. I hate hospitals” 

Louis sighed and didn’t talk again.

The doctor said softly “ you should stay for tonight Harry. We need to make sure everything is stable”

Harry didn’t respond at all, Louis looked at the doctor and said “ thanks doctor.. “

The doctor left and then there was silence. Louis looked at Harry but Harry didn’t move, it was like he was lost in his mind. Trapped with what exactly Louis was thinking of. Harry can't do the surgery and his heart was weak now, he could have a heart attack any moment and he must go under new line of drugs. That was awful. 

His mother looked at him “ are you okay baby? “

Harry sighed angrily “ of course I am not.. How is this okay? “ he growled 

Gemma said “hay don’t do that”

“do what? “ he snapped and looked at them with huge eyes. 

“ don’t lose hope, not now”

Harry chuckled sarcastically “ yeah right”

Louis took his hand “ Harry... “

“ please just shut up... Shut the fuck up. No one understands “

“ baby, your doctor said... “ his mom started again but he looked at his mother “ he just said I will be stuck with this forever.. My heart is very fucking damaged that I can’t... Shit mom.. I am sorry” he covered his face with his hands and he sobbed. 

His mom just hugged him tight and she whispered “ you will be okay Harry, you are always OK baby, right? “

He rubbed her back “ I am sorry”

Then he looked at Louis and his sister “ I am sorry I snapped at you.. I am just.. Fuck I can’t believe this is happening.. I mean why I survived last year if this is what I will have to face”

“hay.. “ Louis said with anger “ stop talking like this.. You are- “

“I am dying Louis” he finally said

Again there was silence, Harry took a deep breath “ it’s killing me slowly.. Every time I have an episode I will be scared that it might be the last one.. “

“Harry... “ his mom gasped crying

He looked at her “ I am sorry mom but this is the truth, we all need to believe that”

“believe what? “ Louis snapped “ that you are dying, hell no I am not going to believe that.. I will protect you remember “ he took his hand “ I am not letting you go Harry, I refuse to let you go”

Harry looked at him with eyes full of tears again. Louis whispered “ please don’t lose hope now.. Please. I need you too strong. I need you to believe that we are going to make it. It doesn’t change anything “

Harry slowly nodded his head “ okay.. Yeah I am sorry”  
He looked between his mom and sister and said “ I am sorry”   
But they all knew he lost his hope. He just had to go on with them but deep inside he lost his hope. His faith and sooner he might lose his life. 

****  
Next morning. Louis helped Harry to sleep in his bed in their home. They just returned and his mom and sister left them for some rest   
“I don’t want to sleep lou.. “ Harry said

“ your doctor said you need rest” Louis said while tugging him under the cover. 

“ and he also said I will restore my regular life, so you don’t need to do all of that. I don’t need to feel that helpless “

Louis looked at him shocked “ baby. I didn’t mean-"

“I know.. I know. I just can’t stay on bed the rest of my life. I need to move and I need to live my life”

Louis sat beside him and he took his hand “ I have a good news for you”

Harry looked at him with excited eyes, Louis said “ I asked your doctor if you can travel... He said you if your next check up goes okay.. We can”

Harry smiled “ you still want to take me across Europe “

Louis nodded “ you can pick the places.. Whatever you want we will go”

Harry smiled widely and then he kisses louis’ hand “ I am scared Louis”

Louis frowned “ what baby? “

Harry sighed “ I don’t want to die now.. I mean I still need to live with you.. I want this family to grow bigger”

Louis closed his mouth, he didn’t know how to answer that but he said “ you are not gonna go anywhere Harry. If you go I will go”

“hay.. Don’t you dare say that” Harry said narrowing his brows 

“and so do you.. We won’t talk again about this”

“ the doctors say-"

“screw them.. Screw them all... I don’t give a shit. You are not leaving me Harry styles.. I swear to  
God if you die I will hunt your ghost and I will drag you back here to torture you for leaving me” Harry giggled

“ I mean it. You are forbidden to leave me.. You won’t do that do you got it? “

Harry nodded through his laughter, then he sighed “ I am sorry Louis”

Louis looked at him, but Harry just kissed him on his lips to shut both of them up.

*****  
At night, Louis left harry sleeping on their bed. He finally let him go although he took an oath he won’t leave his side but leaving the bed to the living room won’t be that matter right?

He was drinking his hot tea when the door bell rang, and it was Zayn

“ I thought you were sleeping “ he said while getting in

“ no I was with Harry, he is sleeping”

“ good” Zayn said, Louis was watching him “ is there something? “

“ can we have a drink first? “

“ fine"

At the kitchen, Louis and Zayn were talking and it seems it was a serious discussion because their voice was getting louder

“ I need you to keep calm”

“keep calm my ass Zayn. Do you hear yourself? “

Zayn sighed “ I know what I am talking about. I said we will put both of you under 24 protection, you don’t have to worry”

Louis walked closer to Zayn and he gritted his teeth “ this is fucked up Zayn.. I can’t.. What if he found out? Right now I need Harry as calm as he can, now you are telling me that Stan is fucking alive and threatening us again.. Fuck he sent a photo of him and now he sent you a tape of Harry’s accident last week... What the hell is he trying to say. Why is he so obsessed with him”

“it’s not about him Tommo, it’s you. He wants to hurt you through Harry. As long as you are with Harry he will be in danger”

Louis froze at his place “ so... What should I do? “

Zayn shrugged “ do nothing.. I am telling you he is obsessed with you.. “

Louis closed his eyes “ Harry needs me more than any time before “

“ I know Louis.. I didn’t say you should leave him”

“but I should though.. “

Zayn was watching his friend, then he looked down, that was the only way, right? Leaving Harry was the only way to protect him

Louis “ fuck” he rubbed his face “ I should divorce him”

Zayn looked at him shocked “ what?! “

“this is the only way to keep him safe” 

Zayn left his seat “ are you kidding me? How could you think of this.. I was thinking to let him stay at his mom for few months till we find Stan”

“he will reach him anywhere Zayn.. “

“you can’t divorce him Tommo, that will break his heart... No”

Louis sighed “ break his heart is better than get him killed.“

Zayn looked at him “ you are serious in this “

Louis looked at him and tears already formed in his eyes “ I will need your help in this” 

“louis.. “

“ when it’s done.. When he is safe we can explain to him”

“we can tell him the truth.“

“no.. I don’t want him to be scared. He can’t know Stan is alive”

“and how divorcing him help in this? "

“ he is watching us.. He will know, he will know there is no Harry in my life and he will leave him alone. He hurt him enough and I just can't... I can't let h hurt again Zayn. It is the only way"


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter guys
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading as I enjoyed writing

Next morning Harry wake up alone on the bed. He looked around him scanning the room and no there was no sign for Louis.

He left his bed and he walked to the kitchen. He heard Louis talking through the phone but he couldn’t listen what was exactly said.

He walked closer and he entered the kitchen and there was Louis sitting on the table closing his eyes. His phone was on the table beside large file of papers

“ good morning “ Harry said

Louis flinched and jumped up his chair, he put his hand on the file trying to hide it “ why aren’t you on bed?”

Harry noticed how shaken up Louis was “ did you even sleep? “

Louis tried to smile “ of course I did”

Harry looked at him for a long moment then he said “ what’s in this file? “

“nothing.. “

“nothing? “

“yeah harry nothing “

Harry walked closer “ OK let me see”

“ no” Louis took the file and was walking away, Harry said “ you said you left the job”

Louis turned and looked at him “ I did”

Harry looked at him and bit his lower lip trying to stop talking, Louis sighed “ I did... This is not work.. This... Fuck.. This is something else”

Harry nodded and then Louis “ I will put it in the office.. “

Harry didn’t respond, he headed to the coffee maker, and he rested his hands on the counter, he took a deep breath he didn’t want to worry himself now. He must calm down.

He poured himself some coffee and he returned to the table. But once he sat on his chair he saw something Louis forgot. His painting. His last painting Stan sent.

Harry gasped and he jumped away from the table pushing his cup that fell on the ground and the coffee was poured on the ground

“ what happened? “ Louis asked from the door

Harry looked at him terrified, Louis looked at the poured coffee and then at the table and he rushed inside to hide the painting but he knew it was too late anyway

“ what does this mean? “ Harry asked

Louis looked at him “ it means nothing.. It is an old one”

“no”

“yes... There is nothing to worry about Harry, you are okay”  
He was lying, he couldn't lie to Harry 

Harry closed his eyes and murmured “ oh God”

Louis walked closer to him, he wanted to reassure him, Harry couldn't panic now “ Harry, listen to me.."

“ I saw him” Harry said

Louis froze at the place “ what did you say? “

Harry opened his eyes “ I thought it wasn’t real.. Oh God.. I saw him and he saw me” he now looked at Louis with panicked eyes. 

“ when? “

Harry shook his head and he walked away, Louis ran after him and he grasped his hand and yelled “ when? “

Harry was lost, he looked at Louis and tried to talk “ the day I was hit by the car”

“did he hit you? “

Harry shook his head “no... I.. I saw him and I guess I panicked and caused my self a seizure.. Damn louis.. I don’t want to have one now.. Please help me” he reached his hand for Louis to help him, his eyes were filled with tears and that was the only thing scared him, having a siezure now 

Louis took his two hands and he sat him on the chair “ calm down.. Love calm down.. Okay. Calm this heart down”

Harry was looking at the ground “ he saw me and he made sure I saw him... I... I. “ he looked at Louis still panicking, all his body was shaking. Louis was losing his mind.. He was scared shit right now and he did the only thing he could think about. He hugged Harry close to his heart, he hugged him tight and he cried on his shoulder “ don’t panic please... I can’t see you again having a panic attack. Baby please “

Harry was still shaking between Louis’ arms and then he said “ I am trying... I am... “ he hugged  
Louis too and he whispered “ I thought he was dead”

Louis looked at him and cupped his face “ listen to me.. Nothing is going to happen to you Harry, I will make sure nothing happens I promise baby. He wants me he is after me.. Just me. I will make sure you will be safe”

Harry tensed again and looked at Louis’ eye deeply “ what will you do? “

Louis shook his head and he was crying “ I will keep you safe”

“ how? “

Louis smiled while crying “ I was a cop Harry, and I won’t let him trick me twice, that would make me a fool wouldn’t it? I will do everything I can to protect you”

“ I want you with me.. “ Harry said crying “ what are you planning to do? “

Louis hugged him again “ I will be always with You Harry, I will never leave you.. You need to remember that, okay”

Harry pulled away “ you will be okay right? “

Louis nodded, Harry cried “ no, promise me you will be okay, promise me now”

“ I will be okay, you idiot, what do you think could happen to me”

Harry closed his eyes and let the tears fall freely, he hugged Louis again “ I need you safe Lou, I can’t live without you, not again”

****

At night. Louis,Zayn and Liam were gathering at Louis’ living room trying to find a way to find Stan. Now after Harry confessed seeing him here in London watching him, so he was close and no one out of these three men would let what happened happens again.

It was getting late and they were really exhausted. Harry was sleeping on the couch with them at the same room. He refused to stay alone and Louis didn’t want to miss anything that might happen.

They were having a break, all in silent, all revising the info they already had.

Liam looked at Harry “ won’t you carry him to the bed? “

Louis shook his head “ he is fine here”

Zayn was watching without uttering a single word  
Liam looked at Louis “ so, what happened between you? He looks so exhausted and so do you”

Louis sighed “ we didn’t sleep well.. I can’t sleep and obviously he was watching me.. “

Liam nodded and said “ Zayn said something about a divorce? “

Louis shook his head “ I don’t know, I still think about it”

Liam “ you are kidding with me? “

Louis looked at Liam “ Stan is after me, he will get to me through him. I can’t let anything happen to him”

Liam shook his head, but it wasn’t him who said 

“ don’t you dare”

When Louis looked at Harry, Harry was looking back at him with wide eyes “ don’t you dare do this.. “ then he sat on the couch “ you just promised me you won’t leave me”

Louis looked down “ Harry, I don’t know how to think “

“anything but leaving me” Harry snapped

He then shook his head in disbelief “ why it’s always easy for you to give up on me”

“I am not giving up on you..Harry you don’t understand.. “

“enlighten me then” harry said challenging

Louis jumped on his feet, he was tired, anxious and he wasn’t ready for any fight with Harry

“ he is after me Harry, and as long as he is like this, he is going to hurt you.. We all know you are not gonna take it, it will kill you”

“if you leave me, it will kill me too. Fuck Louis.. Is this how you are gonna fix this? By a divorce? Is this what you were planning to do”

It was when Liam stood up too “ listen Harry, no one is divorcing anyone.. We... “

“what? “Harry yelled “ you what? He is after him, and pushing me away is what he wants.. “

“no, he wants to hurt me Harry” Louis yelled back

Harry looked at him crying “ and how is divorcing me makes you feel? It will hurt both of us..” he wiped his tears “ lou. Please don’t do this.. Don’t. Don’t push me away.. I don’t think I have time for this shit”

“God stop talking this way”

“ then stop making me.. “

Then silence, only Harry’s loud breathing was heard.

He finally calmed a little and looked at Louis “ we are in this together, you love me.. He will always find this a way to hurt even if there were oceans between us”

He walked closer to him “ please Lou.. Your love makes me strong.. Don’t take this away from me too”

Louis was watching Harry, and he had every right in every word he said  
“ I am scared.. I can’t live this again”

Harry shook his head “ we won’t.. “

Harry hugged Louis, and Louis hugged him back,  
Harry whispered in his ear “ don’t leave me”

“never”

“oh get a room” it was Liam who yelled joking

Zayn shouted “ come on Liam”

Then Harry suddenly tensed. Louis was laughing but he felt Harry between his arm and then he looked at him “ are you okay baby? “

Harry wasn’t looking at him, his eyes were fixed on the ground and he whispered “ Liam”

Louis had to step in front of Harry’s vision “ hazza, you are okay? “

Harry looked at Louis “ his name was Liam”

Louis looked between Liam and Zayn, Harry said still with terrified eyes “ his partner.. His name was Liam”

Louis tried to smile “ what are you talking about baby, Liam is our friend”

Harry shook his head “ not our Liam... Do we know any other Liam? Cause I am sure I heard his voice before”

Louis was still staring at Harry trying to understand what he was talking about. Then Zayn’s phone rang.

“ yes Gigi..” and he walked towards the kitchen, Harry closed his eyes trying to remember.

“ baby, don’t exhaust yourself” Louis said taking his hand to sit him down.

Harry looked at him “ I know I heard his voice before Lou.. I know that voice but I just can’t.. “ he shook his head in frustration and he freed his hand refusing to sit.

Louis “ Harry, take it easy.. It will come to you”

“when? “ he snapped again “ it has been over a fucking year and I just remembered last week..  
Fuck.. I need to help. I need to end this so we can be okay again, so we can be happy again”

Louis was going to enter when Zayn entered eyes red and tears filled them

Liam was the one who noticed “ what happened? “

Zayn looked between them, Harry and Louis was looked at him too

“ that was the hospital.. Gigi has made an accident? “

“ oh my God.. “ it was Harry who whispered

“is she okay? “

Zayn shrugged “ I am needed there.. I... “

Liam hastily took his jacket and keys “ let’s go”

Harry also walked to Zayn and he rubbed his back “she will be okay.. She will be fine don’t worry” Louis took his keys, and his and Harry’s jackets and they all rushed outside the house.

******  
At the hospital,

Zayn was with Gigi at her room, she had a broken arm, bruised rib and few bruises all over her body.

Liam, Louis and Harry refused to leave Zayn by his own and they stayed out side the room.

Later Zayn came out of the room and asked them to get inside with Gigi, she was shaking up and needed some distraction.

Harry was the first to enter, he walked to her and hugged her softly and kissed her cheek. Then he gave a room for Liam and Louis to do the same.

For Louis it was really painful to see, even though she looked okay and was smiling, but his mind drove him back to Harry when he was lying at the hospital bed in his coma struggling to be alive.

Louis took few steps back and stayed beside the door trying to drag his mind out of those memories.

Harry was watching Louis and he knew what he was thinking.

“ what happened Gigi? “

She sighed and rested her head back at the pillow while Zayn sat beside her on the bed holding her hand  
“ I don’t really know Liam. All I remember I was having a small talk with an old friend, and when I was crossing the street I was hit by a car that I don’t know where did it come from”

“ who is that friend, we can ask him about the car?”

Gigi looked at Zayn “ he was with me at the ambulance, did he leave? “

Zayn frowned “ no one was here babe when I arrived, who is he anyway? “

“Liam.. Remember Liam our tattoo artist”

Louis snapped his head to Harry, who did exactly the same. Louis walked to him and the look on Zayn and Liam was the same, but Zayn gathered himself and asked “ Liam? That guy who used to tattoo us years ago? “

She looked at him confused “ yeah.. You remember him right? He even did some for Louis and  
Harry. He asked me about you Harry he looked worried”

Harry was looking down and he was shocked and scared, Louis took Harry’s hand and he looked at Gigi “ I think we... “

Harry’s medical watch started to peep, Louis snapped his head to him and he said frantically “ no,..  
Damn Harry, stay with me”

Harry was shaking his head “ it’s okay, it’s for my drug.. Which I forgot anyway” Louis was still shaking himself. 

he was still grasping Harry’s hand “ we are outside”

He pushed Harry slightly out of the room. He was shaking, Harry can't have an episode now. Now now. He wanted to take him out of danger, out of stress. 

“ I am okay Louis”Harry said while Louis was closing the door. Harry felt Louis' fears and he was trying also to calm him down. 

“ it’s him, it’s Liam I remember now. I remember seeing a tottoo on his arm... When I was.. Er..  
When he.. “

Louis had to stop him, he didn’t want to hear when Stan was hanging Harry, he could see that “ are you sure? “

Harry looked at Louis “ I guess I should.. I mean.. He asked about me, didn’t he? “

Louis looked around him angrily. Harry was right from the start, there was a partner and he was someone used to know them.

Liam opened the door and walked to Harry and Louis, Liam was also so worried. “ you are okay harry? “

Harry nodded reassuring “ I am fine”

Louis said to Liam “ we need to look up, who is he? And what is the connection with him and Stan?  
“

Liam nodded “I am already on it, don’t worry”

“ do you think he was the one who hurt Gigi? “ Harry asked

Liam shrugged “ it could be. We need to visit that Liam”

Harry “ yeah, we should”

Louis snapped his head to Harry “ you are not going to do anything “ 

“ lou.. “

“you are not” he yelled

Harry shared a look with Liam then looked down, Liam started “ I guess.. Harry is right”

Louis glared at him, but Liam continued “ I mean.. He asked about Harry before the accident, maybe  
Harry should pay him a visit. I mean to tell him the message was delivered “

“what kind of message? Are you out of your mind” Louis almost yelled 

Liam sighed “ listen Louis.. “

“no, not to you, not again” yes he did it 

Liam looked at Louis but didn’t answer, he looked down sadly and tears formed on his eyes hastly, Harry said “ what does this mean? “

Liam looked down, but Harry looked between both of them, Louis was feeling angry and his face turned red “ why did you say that? “

“you know nothing harry so don’t bother” Louis said trying to avoid looking at anyone 

Harry was getting angry “ fuck Louis, you always do that”

Louis looked at him, now he was getting angry “ why do you want to know?”

Liam looked at Harry, he didn't want them to fight because of him “it’s okay Harry”

Harry looked at Liam then he shook his head angry and walked back to Gigi’s room. Louis followed him and walked beside him. Still can't trust him. Still scared that he might have a siezure suddenly. 

Harry walked till he reached the door knob and he opened it. He smiled looking at the couple who were whispering to each other  
“ I guess we should leave”

Zayn looked at Harry frowning, the look on his face was worried but Louis said “ we will come first thing in the morning. Call me Zayn”

Zayn nodded while Harry gave Gigi another hug and he left the room and waited for Louis outside.

*******

The way home was silent. Harry didn’t say a word he was just silent watching the road in front of  
him

“ why are you angry? “ louis asked when the silence was too much and all the awful memories hunted his mind. He needed a distraction 

Harry sighed “ I am not.. I mean. Now they hurt people around us? What if they hurt Gemma? What about your sisters? “

Louis looked at him “ no one will get hurt. I can assure you that”

“no you just can’t. They hurt Gigi, they hurt me and Niall.. They hurt you”

Louis nodded “ you are right. We must find them”

“then let me go and meet Liam tomorrow? Let me see what he has to say.. “

“of course not, i mean why? “ Louis frowned 

“listen.. If you go Stan might know that we are suspecting Liam. He will never expect you to send me there alone without protection, so maybe I could talk to him, I could you know.. Find something “

“Harry, you are not going there alone” he shook his head expelling the idea out. 

Harry nodded “ okay, maybe not alone. You can wait at the car or you set a camera on my pocket or anything “  
then he couldn’t hold his giggles 

Louis looked at him, but Harry said “ i am sorry. I just I always wanted to play that role if I got to act in any movie”

Louis laughed “ you never told me that”

Harry just shrugged “ Well.. That was a stupid thing”

Louis looked at the road again and sighed “I feel scared Harry, I can’t let you bear them again”

Harry nodded and took his hand between his “ this is the only way”

“no, it’s not. That actually would be stupid to send you there while knowing he is Stan’s partner”

“was”

“what?”

Harry looked at Louis “ I don’t think they are partners anymore. I think that’s why he asked Gigi about me. I mean Stan knows I am alive right? He saw me, He sent that painting so he knows about me”

Louis looked at him “ then why do you want to meet him? “

Harry sighed and looked down “maybe we can find something? Maybe he would tell me where Stanَ  
is? “

Louis huffed “and how are you going to do it Harry? Just ask him? “

“yes” harry said after a moment

“ yes? “ Louis shook his head on disbelief “ have you lost your mind baby ? “Harry shook his head “ let’s just try.. What are we going lose? He is going to tell him? So what..”

“then I am going, not you”

“I want to go” harry insisted

“ why? “

“ because I need to know why, I need to know what I did to deserve this”

Louis was shocked “ it wasn’t this way”

“then why did Liam participated in this? It has to be something I did”

“no Harry, it was me. It was and still about me”

“what did you do to him? “ Harry asked Louis. 

Louis was frozen for a second, he never asked himself this. What did he do to Stan? Was it just about the case? Was he obsessed witj Louis because of the case? He killed ten people because of Louis?

“ I need to know” Harry said calmed

Louis looked at him “ then I am coming with you”

Harry stayed silent for few seconds then he said " you still blame Liam for what happened?"

Louis sighed " no, I don't... I know how did it sound earlier but I am not I promise"

Harry sighed " it wasn't his fault"

"I know"

"we should say sorry"

" I will"  
******  
Next morning, Louis and Harry were in the car heading to the tattoo shop.

When Louis stopped the car he looked at Harry “ are you ready for this? “

Harry nodded but he didn’t talk, Louis “ have you taken your meds? “

“ yeah, yeah I did”

Louis took his hand and kissed it “ okay, let’s go”

Harry and Louis entered the shop, it was calm and empty, no one was at the counter. They looked at each other and then Louis shrugged “ maybe he is in the bathroom or something? “

Harry sighed and walked away to the counter while Louis looked at the next room. But once Louis walked away Harry gasped. Louis turned his back to him and Harry was looking at something behind the counter with his hand covering his mouth and his whole body was shaking.

Louis rushed to him and took his hand “ are you okay? “

But Harry’s eyes were fixed on the floor behind the counter when Louis looked, he found Liam on the floor obviously dead.

******

Louis and Harry were sitting on the cafe shop across the tattoo shop, Liam Payne was the cop at the scene and he asked them to stay for a talk. They were checking the surveillance cameras around the shop.

Louis was checking Harry from time to time, he was proud of how Harry was strong and containing himself. But he was also worried of a sudden seizure

" are you okay baby? “

Harry sighed “ yeah, I am okay”

“who was on the phone? “

Harry looked at him “ it was Nate. He was asking why I stopped the therapy”

Louis tried not to sound jealous “ really”

Harry raised a brow but Louis shrugged “ it’s an innocent question “

Harry nodded “ okay. Yes really. He was worried and I told him not to worry anymore. I don’t think  
I can go anymore anyway.. “ he sounded annoyed and Louis saw how his face turned. 

“ it’s okay Harry, tomorrow we will try the new line. And we hope it will work and everything will be okay”

Harry chuckled sarcastically “ yeah right”

“please, Harry.. Let’s have hope this time “

Harry looked at him and all he had to do was a nod.   
Just a nod cause maybe everything will be okay this time.

Liam Payne entered the cafe and he walked to them directly

“it was him” first thing he said

“ he entered the shop this morning and he left half hour after”

Louis nodded, Liam “ it was an hour before you showing up”

Louis took a deep breath “ fuck..do we know where is he? “

Liam sighed “ we are looking, now you go home.. Have some rest. I put protection on your house”

Louis stood up “ yeah.. We will do that”

And then Harry also stood up and together they left.

******  
Harry and Louis entered their house. Harry headed directly to the kitchen to take his mids while Louis climbed the stairs to the bedroom.

Harry took two pills and he poured some water and while he was drinking he heard  
" so you are alive? “

Harry flinched and he dropped the glass and it scattered on the ground

The man was in front Harry was smiling widely.

Stan.

He looked different, shaved his head and with a huge cut on his left cheek.

“ see Harry, when I killed you the first time I didn’t expect you will come out of it alive”

Harry swallowed thickly “ why are you doing this? “

Stan laughed, then he raised his hand and Harry was surprised to find a gun in his hand, Stan levelled the gun towards Harry and said “ I will make sure to finish my job this time”

Harry raised his hand “ wait, wait Stan.. Don’t do this, please “

“and why is that? He will be mad again when he see you bleeding and again he will be unable to save you. I guess this time he will lose his shit”

“why do you hate him? “

Harry noticed Louis showing behind Stan, he put his finger on his mouth to keep Harry’s shut.

“I hate him because he is the reason for my misery"

“ what misery? “ Harry asked with tears on his eyes

“ my brother, my only family left, he took him away from me. He arrested him and then he killed himself at the prison because of him, and guess what he was innocent” he was yelling now “ he took him away from me, and I will take you from him”

He pulled the trigger and then a shot was heard.

Harry was frozen on his place, squeezing his eyes shot. He was ready for the pain, but the pain never came. He opened his eyes and he saw Stan in the ground and then Louis holding a gun in his hand rushed to Harry and took him between his arms.

Harry was crying and shaking, Louis was holding him and he took him out of the kitchen.

******

Three weeks later, Harry and Louis were at Harry’s doctor office. His doctor was sitting in front of them and looking at Harry’s file

“ it’s stable Harry, itis so much better than recently.. I am very glad with these results”

Harry looked at Louis and he smiled,  
“ what about the side effects? “

Harry looked at the doctor “ I experienced them all but I am okay”

The doctor nodded again “ yes, you are okay Harry. I am very proud of you”

Louis took Harry’s hand and he squeezed softly  
“ we will keep going on this line and we hope for the best”

Harry nodded “ okay”

Louis and Harry left the doctor office, they were in the car when Louis said “ how about Spain as a start? “

Harry looked at him “ you promised Paris would be our first destination”

Louis laughed “ okay.. But I was thinking.. “

“no, don’t. You said I put the plan so I put the plan”

“Jesus ... Okay” he said laughing

HARRY laughed too “ that was my dream Louis since I was a little kid” he looked at him “ I am glad I am making it with the love of my life”

Louis nodded and smiled too “I am glad we are finally okay”

“ we are”

“ we will always be okay. I am all yours baby”

Harry laughed “ I know you want to go back Louis”

“no”

Harry nodded “I know you. And I hate to take this away from you”

Louis shook his head “ Harry, stop. I am not going back there. Not just for you, for me too. I don’t want to be a cop anymore. Maybe I will make my own business... Maybe I will a year gab I don’t wanna think about it. I just want to live the moment with you. Travelling   
around the world hand in hand, scared of nothing”

Harry smiled and then looked in front to the road “ okay, where are we going now? “

Louis smiled and looked at him but didn’t talk,  
“lou... “

“alright, alright. I sent our papers to an orphanage house. They want to meet us”

Harry was looking at him with big eyes “ it’s nothing, it’s just a small meeting I know it’s a huge step and we need to think about it. But the babies and the kids are amazing Harry, you will love them”

Harry was looking at him with tears in his eyes, Louis looked at his eyes “ you don’t have to decide  
now”

“God I love you” Harry said through his tears

Louis laughed “ yes I know I love you too”

Harry shook his head “ you are everything in my life I don’t know how my life would be if you weren’t in it”

Loui’ smile faded and he didn’t answer, Harry must read him because he said “ everything, every minute mattered Louis. You complete me no matter what happened in the last year I still love you, no I love you more”

Louis stopped the car and he looked at Harry, he took his two hands and he kissed his hands

“ no, you complete me Harry. Since the day I lied me eyes on you. I knew.. I knew you would the love of my life”

Harry smiled shyly and looked down, Louis smiled “ now. Are you ready to meet the rest of our family? “

Harry looked at him with a huge smile and he nodded.  
Together they left the car and walked inside the orphanage hand in hand.

Louis looked at Harry while he was watching the kids playing around them and he could feel how his heart melted. The smile on his face was priceless and his face was glowing.

Louis looked down and closed his eyes to thank his God for this bless. Thank his God for making them survive all that happened together and safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want another part? Part 4 maybe?


	12. Chapter 12

Ready for part 4


End file.
